Need some advice about why girls do this

sorcererbro · 2016-03-10T01:33:36+00:00

You look like a tryhard. I don't even need to look at your picture; from your appearance-centric description of the problem, it's plain as day.

If I can tell this across the internet from a sequence of buttons you pushed on a computer, those girls probably pick it up (among other things) in your nonverbals.

Work on your inner game, dog.

DirkDieGurke · 2016-03-10T03:01:59+00:00

You are probably trying too hard with the clothes, and they know it.

mcmackie · 2016-03-10T05:27:24+00:00

Others mentioned you are a tryhard, I think you are more like a Mr. Nice Guy. This is a kind of tryhard guy that needs women's validation to feel comfortable, thats why you work hard on your looks and feel that girls should be talking to you instead of "average guys". Nice guys think that to get women they must do everything they like (be a justin beiber) but in reality women feel attracted to a man that is manly and confident with being himself.

Look out for more about Mr. Nice Guys if you feel identified, there is even a book about it. I know about this because I did felt identified with being a Nice Guy and also with your description. PM me if you need any more info.

Dracron · 2016-03-10T13:02:38+00:00

Ok, so it sounds like you need someone who's looking at what you need, not just going to call you a douche.

It seems like you are trying to present your value through your appearance and your making value judgements based on what others are wearing. Your focus on appearance gives you a leg up on things like hygiene, while it pulls you away from the thing that makes girls really attracted which is that they want to be around someone who has fun.

Inner game is really important and you should be focusing on what makes you happy in your life outside of girls attraction to you. Find out what kind of music you love, what kind of activities make you happy and what kind of things make you laugh, then once you have that down then, after you have that figured out, pull girls into that world. When you start feeling that life is awesome, then you start showing up on girls radar.

Once you have that down, then your appearance will start giving you the advantage over other guys that already have qualities they want, but you have to get those qualities in your inner self first. Fun and confidence are the qualities you need first, with being easy to talk to coming in next. When you have those things down then girls will start feeling safe around you, and that brings me to the reaction your getting.

When they shut down that way its because they don't feel safe. They feel like they are trapped in a cage with an possibly occasionally angry, albeit well dressed, gorilla who happens to have his gaze set on them at that time. I'm guessing that you are hyper focused on them when you talk to them, and that generally you are upset at the way it seems like everyone else is having all the luck. To put it another way, there's a movie called May about a girl that collects body parts to literally make herself a friend, because she has a hard time connecting with people, and she STARES at the body parts she likes of these soon to be victims. Its this kind of stare that pushes people away, because they are a thing to be obtained, not a person to be valued for their own sake.

This is why I would say that you should take sometime away from focusing on getting girls. Make your life look attractive in more than just appearance, find something that you want to do and make an adventure out of getting to do that. It could be traveling to Europe, it could be becoming someone who paints cars, it could be going to Burning Man this year, it could be doing a free fall from Low Earth Orbit like the guy that red bull sponsored a couple years ago, but it should be something that you're passionate about and could talk about for hours to anyone who would like to listen. Passion shows them some of who you are and what drives you. Then, they can see the kind of passion you would pour into them when your focus shifts their way and this will make their knees weak with anticipation.

Big_TX · 2016-03-10T02:13:45+00:00

A) they most likely already know the girls. I garente you these guys are not walking up to girl they don't know then the girls get excited and keep the convo going for them. (The only way that is possible is if they have very high status or really good vibes. And even then I have no idea how it would work at your school.)

B) they could be having fun to begin with. And offering excess fun to them. That helps tremendously.

C) they probably like joke and saw funny things and connect with the girls.

D) you style might not be as good as your think your designer clothes might be douchey. I have no idea. Often designer clothes are cut way better and sometimes they just look dumb, Or like you are pretending to be an aristocrat. It really depends on the type of girls. To some you may look like a fool for buying into marketing, to just like you are trying to by status with them to, indifference to, that guy has designer clothes that means he is on my level. It all depends on the girl. Reguardless you clothes should not be be that big of and issue.

C) some girls really like miscles in HS others don't. But by college most all girls like muscles. And that will give you an advantage.

Have a friend watch you and ask for his feed back. You may doing something you don't relies that makes you come across badly.

aardvarhunter286 · 2016-03-10T08:41:33+00:00

Maybe you look too conceited. Everyone is selfish in a sense. They want to have others interested in them, not "im hot come suck my balls." your effort into looking good may take away from the effort of getting to know them. Depends on how much effort youre putting into the looks dept. Do you come off as entitled?

puhahajk · 2016-03-11T12:41:45+00:00

Don't be a douche breh, you sound like you are one lol

Title	Need some advice about why girls do this
Author	saintsnation12
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	March 9, 2016 11:44 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/49qvdx/need_some_advice_about_why_girls_do_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-some-advice-about-why-girls-do-this.1403779 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403779

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