I’ve only been here a couple days and I’ve seen multiple posts about NEEDINESS on this board - specifically dudes not understanding what the fk it means. Not their fault, just haven’t been taught yet. Hope this helps.

I’ve seen questions like: - How do I show I’m interested, without coming across as needy? - Where’s the line between being needy and simply being assertive?

These OP’s seemed to think that simply having desires or expectations = being needy. Want to hang out with a girl you’re talking to? needy. Want to fuck a girl you started talking to? needy. Want a girl you’re dating to acknowledge you when you ask a question? needy. Expect a girl to show up to a date she set with you? needy.

THIS SHIT IS NOT NEEDY. This shit is just having expectations of your relationships (eg you expect your MLTR’s to see you once per week) or desires for a specific girl (you started speaking to Brittany and you really wanna bend her over your couch this week) It is FINE to have expectations or desires and even communicate these to the girl, within the right context. NOTE: fucking Brittany is a DESIRE it is NOT an expectation. There’s an important difference and you should know it, not only because it changes how you communicate but also because not knowing that difference makes you a freak.

So having expectations and desires and conveying them isn’t needy. Here’s the catch:

Hoping A SPECIFIC GIRL meets these expectations or desires, and then being upset at all if she doesn’t meet them, IS FKN NEEDY.

I’ll say it again with examples so its clearer:

Expectations:

Having expectations about how you want the relationships in your life to work is NOT needy. Being upset when a specific girl you are talking to does not fit into those expectations (because she has different expectations) IS NEEDY. Eg. you expect an LTR or MLTR to text you back reasonably quickly and talk to you all day. You just love chatting so that’s something that’s important to you if you’re gonna be in a relationship with a girl. Angela, an FB of yours, is cool and you like her. You want to upgrade her to an LTR. She has a very busy life of her own and so she replies to your messages usually every 3 or 4 days. You can communicate this is a problem if you like, although you might just wanna take it as a sign that you’re not number 1 on her list. Whatever, if you wanna shoot your shot you can flat out literally say to her “talking to you is like talking to an invisible friend wish you replied sooner babe 😂” (Any guy who replies to this saying “you can’t say that! You’re validating her and giving your power away!” has no idea how this shit works in real life)

Let’s say you drop that hint and Angela still takes 4-5 days to respond to you. You don’t like this so you get upset, you keep bringing it up and trying to make her change. YOU ARE BEING A NEEDY PUSSY. Angela is a person, she is allowed to operate however she likes, she simply doesn’t meet your expectations of an LTR. Therefore if you are the Alpha that you’re pretending to be you will keep her as an FB and move on to the next girl in line, until you find one who fits your expectations.

A Beta NEEDS this one specific girl who he’s obsessed with in his life. An Alpha Male like you simply needs his relationships to work in a certain way - he will fuck different girls until he finds one who fits those needs.

Desires:

Having desires for a specific girl isn’t needy. Even telling her these desires isn’t needy (this still needs to be properly calibrated, so if you’re a total noob don’t just start telling every girl you’re talking to that you desire to fuck them 🙄) BUT being upset when a girl doesn’t meet your desires IS FKN NEEDY. Eg you started speaking to Brittany two weeks ago, you picked her up at the grocery store. She had the cutest pony tail when you picked her up. Your desire is to grab her by that pony tail and bend her over your couch. If you haven’t been a fkn creep and you have been cheeky, charming and congruent through your chats with her, then you can even tell her what you wanna do, once attraction is high. (Again I feel like Im playing with fire here - if you wouldn’t normally talk like that and don’t know how to calibrate then don’t just tell her outta nowhere that you wanna bend her over your couch. Might be a different post) Anyway you tell her, Brittany likes the sound of that, so she plans to come over Tuesday night. She flakes. You keep messaging her and telling her you wanna see her and trying to meet her and get upset that she isn’t coming over. NEEDY PUSSY ALERT.

Again, if you’re the Alpha Male you’re pretending to be, then you’ll be talking to and fucking multiple girls - if Brittany doesn’t show up what would an Alpha who has lot’s of options do? I’m not saying you have to cut her off completely if she flakes. I probably would, but there’s no RULES with this shit despite what I keep seeing on this sub (“Mystery said we should never compliment her because it validates her and gives away your power so make sure you never compliment her because it’s a rule!”) There’s no rules, if you really like this chick for some reason and you wanna msg her again then whatever msg her, do whatever the fk you want. All we know is an Alpha wouldn’t mope about the fact she flaked or that she won’t fuck him, or explain that he’s upset with her, or annoy her or try to change her. NEEEEEDY.

IN CONCLUSION

Having expectations about how you want your relationships to work is not needy. Verbalising these expectations to a girl you’re dating isn’t needy (although it can be a real mood killer if you’re a bad communicator. Like I say, prob a different post). Having desires (sexual or otherwise) with a girl you’re talking to isn’t needy. Letting her know these desires isn’t needy. Being upset because she doesn’t match your expectations or meet your desires and you have no other girls to go to for these desires and expectations to be met - is literally the NEEDIEST SHIT POSSIBLE.

Fix for neediness = Get more options, or at least properly act like you’ve got them.