Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #3.

Context and goals:

I received little to no feedback on my previous account. As such, I couldn’t really think of anything to do differently on the next night, other than to attempt to find a different Meetup catering to a younger demographic, where, hopefully, more women within my age bracket would be present. Presently, I found such a Meetup. I initially planned to only venture to this newly-found one, but after noticing that it began at 8:30 PM, whereas the one I usually go to begins at 6:00 PM, I decided to try going to the one I usually go to first, and then leaving it to go to the newly-found one later in the evening, to see whether I was able to prolong my momentum in doing so. As such, tonight was the first night where I ventured to multiple venues. Both Meetups were at beer gardens. Other than the above, my goals remained more-or-less the same: approach 1 – 3 women, and try to have higher-quality conversations with them when I did so.

Account:

I felt a lot less nervous this time than I did the previous two times: the effects of almost a year of isolation are starting to wear off, and it’s starting to transform into something casual and predictable, into just another thing in my weekly schedule. Melbourne had just imposed a new lockdown due to a new outbreak, but although the resulting rules didn’t kick in until midnight, I nevertheless opted not to hi-five people on the way this time. I really don’t think that that makes any tangible difference anyway.

At the first Meetup, as usual, the attendees were mostly much older than me. Nevertheless, I approached three women whom I’m sure were in their late 30s at the youngest and their early 50s at the oldest, but whom at least looked passable. There was clearly no chemistry with any of them, with one of them leaving to talk to another girl, one leaving to go to the bathroom and never coming back, and one being joined by a male friend. Honestly, though, I myself was not attracted enough to any of them that I would have bothered to ask for any of their numbers even if not for any of the above.

In between approaches, I also casually chatted with some people, including some women whom I had no intention of trying to pick up, either because they were clearly too old or because I already knew them and knew that they were not single. And I tell you; I had some really natural, high-energy, laugh-filled conversations with the latter. It is so much easier to talk to women you don’t intend to pick up vs. women you do intend to pick up. If only I could learn to be with the latter like I am with the former…

At 8:15, I left for the other bar (it was within walking distance). When I got to there, initially, nobody else from the other Meetup appeared to be there at all. There were plenty of women within my age bracket, however. I considered approaching one of them independent of a Meetup, but I couldn’t muster the courage – the fact of the matter is, I’m simply not up to that stage yet. Eventually, out of the approx. 40 people who said they’d turn up, a whopping six did. Including one woman. A 39-year-old divorcee.

*sigh*.

Nevertheless, I had a nice chat with the people who did turn up, and as I did at the first Meetup, I noticed a definite improvement in my conversation skills. I wondered whether I was done for the evening, but towards the end, I spotted an attractive woman in my age range ordering at the counter, and, impulsively, asked the others if they’d be willing to buy me a drink if I approached her. They said yes. So I went and approached her. I had possibly the highest-quality conversation with her that I’ve had thus far – lots of laughing, lots of her not minding when I placed and kept my hand on her shoulder. I was on the cusp of asking her if she was having a good time and telling her to give me her number if she said yes. Alas, I then spotted a photo of herself with a guy on her lockscreen, and asked her if that was her boyfriend, to which she said yes.

*sigh*.

No matter. I just told her to take it as a compliment, and she left with a final laugh. That wasn’t quite the end of the night, though. I told one of the guys there about my exercise, and he all but insisted on being my wing, took me by the hand and led me around the bar introducing me to women. All either claimed to have boyfriends, or to be in the middle of doing something, however, so nothing came of this By now it was 10:30 PM – the latest I’ve stayed out, thus far – and my heart wasn’t in it anymore, so I went home. Nevertheless, the guy invited me to the next Meetup, at which he claimed he’d be willing to do the same.

Reflection

So, I haven’t yet found quite what I’m looking for; a Meetup with a decent number of women my own age. However, the low turnout at the second Meetup tonight might have been due to the lockdown. What’s more, I’m starting to think that I could be quite good at approaching women if only I had wingman present to egg me on and to whom I could retreat if things weren’t going well. In light of this, next time, I think I might go to the Meetup the guy invited me to, which, hopefully, will be after the new lockdown has ended, and at which, hopefully, the guy will make good on his offer. I also definitely think that my conversation skills are getting better.

Tally

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Approaches: 14.

Immediate rejections: 1.

Conversations: 12.

Phone number rejections: 2.

Phone numbers: 0.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 0.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.