Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #5.

Context and goals:

Hello again, chums. I’m back after a one-week absence during which I was on holiday in Sydney, New South Wales – my first holiday in several years. I considered continuing this exercise whilst there, but I did like 2 – 3 things (i.e... museums) every single day thereat, and by the end of each day, I was absolutely pooped and in no mood to go out to a bar and go through the usual inane routine of “where are you from”, “what do you do”, etc. I figured that such a thing was going to happen, so I never made a commitment to continuing it whilst there.

I was originally meant to go on a date with a girl I met on Hinge my first Friday back, and this account was originally going to be an account of said date. Alas, on Thursday, she texted me to tell me that she’d “forgotten a nephew’s birthday party”. She says she’ll recontact me if another time comes up, which I suspect is code for me never hearing from her again. While I was looking forward to adding one date to my tally so much earlier than I thought I would, I was not particularly into the girl personally, and I acknowledge that flaking is both something which happens with some regularity with dating apps, and that it’s consequently something I should acclimatize myself to, so I’m not that affected.

So instead of the date, I went to my usual Meetup with the oldies. This one was at the same pub I went to during night #2. Because this was at short notice, I didn’t have any goals in mind besides doing 1 – 3 approaches, as usual. As per the title of this post, perhaps the date having flaked and me going here instead wasn’t such a bad thing…

Account:

Yes, I got laid. I had a one-night stand – the first one I’ve ever had in my life. Something I didn’t think would ever happen, let alone this soon. The details aren’t as juicy as you might be thinking they are, but nevertheless, I’ll get to them quickly.

As usual, the Meetup contained barely a single patron who wasn’t old enough to be my parent. I waited, chatted with some of the regulars about my trip, received a tip from another guy concerning a dating coach (more on this below), and eventually spotted a woman who looked 20, but whom when I approached and spoke to her, turned out to be 40. At this point, something inside me snapped and I decided: screw this, if this wasn’t working, it was time to step out of my comfort zone. I left the Meetup and went to the next bar up the road, where I had my heart set on mustering up my courage and approaching some women there without the pretext of a Meetup to fall back on. I was gonna have to get around to this anyway at some point, so why not now? When I entered said next bar, I found it all but completely deserted. *sigh*.

But then this happened.

I sat on a stool and, again, elected to wait a while. To my left, though, was a woman. Something I want to stress here, lest you think I’m boasting, is that this woman was herself 40, slightly overweight, not attractive, and half-drunk, hence why I didn’t immediately approach her. Only get this; she approached me. Called me over and very quickly started very clearly flirting with me (touching me, gazing into my eyes, calling me “cute” repeatedly, etc.). This was the first time in my life that a woman had ever shown my attention, so even if she wasn’t that attractive, I wasn’t about to say no. After barely five minutes, she kissed me, told me that she: “wanted to fuck me” and invited me back to her place. Again, beggars can’t be choosers.

I went with her, we made out on the way back to her place (it was within walking distance), and she was practically removing my clothes while we were still in the elevator. I have limited sexual experience, and she was half-drunk, so the sex was… not great. We both fell asleep pretty soon afterwards as much out of boredom as tiredness. In the morning, she told me that “I was a sweetie-pie”, but that she’d done it because she was in love with someone else, and thought that this might help her to get over him, but it hadn’t. So I kissed her goodbye, left, and went back to my own place.

So, yeah…

Reflection:

I cannot truthfully consider the sex a success on my part. Beyond the fact that she was unattractive, getting it took no skill, effort, or initiative on my part – she was drunk, wanted to get over someone else, and came on to me without me having to do pretty much anything. I got lucky, is all. I happened to be in the right place at the right time. So again, please, don’t take any of this as a boast. At least now, however, the prospect of a one-night stand doesn’t seem so unattainable.

Re. the dating coach the guy at the Meetup recommended to me. His name is Andrew Gung. I looked him up, and this is his website: Dating Coach | Core Confidence Coaching | Australia. Does anyone here know anything about him? Should I give him a ring? Please bear in mind that I don’t have thousands of dollars to spare on coaching.

I’ve said this to myself before, but I’ll say it again: I need to stop going to this Meetup if its clientele is too old and there are no prospects there. I need to start going to that other one, where the guy offered to be my wingman. I only went to this Meetup on a whim because the date flaked on me. I could have skipped it and gone to the other one instead the next day (the one with the oldies is on Fridays, the one with the guy is on Saturdays), but the notion slipped my mind until I was already there. Although then, of course, I wouldn’t have gotten laid. Another thing I think I might start doing is up the ante slightly and approach 3 – 5 each night instead of 1 – 3 (which will never be possible at the Meetup with the oldies).

Tally:

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Approaches: 18.

Immediate rejections: 1.

Conversations: 16.

Phone number rejections: 4.

Phone numbers: 0.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 1.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.