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[–]christmas162589 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do's: Be honest (I can't stress this enough, so it's rule number one in my book).
Relax (women are people, you're people. Don't make things too complicated).
Communication is important. Learn to have fun speaking to new people (this was probably my hardest obstacle at first because I was so anti-social).
Have things to do. Sounds simple right? Well if you're constantly available that's pretty unattractive. It shows you have no depth. "Just text me when you wanna hang out, I'll be free!" Is less desirable than, "I've got class/work/gym/(literally anything) until about 5, how about some time after that?" Also, if you're out doing things you have more exposure to actually go out and meet people.
Speaking of exposure, volunteer. Be sincere (remember rule number one). If you like dogs volunteer at the animal shelter. If you're into government volunteer for student government. Do something you're interested in, that way when you meet someone you know you have at least one thing in common. Build on that.
Make friends. Most of the women I've been with have been introduced by a mutual friend. Got friend zoned by the crazy hot girl? Don't worry about it! Unless you're her only friend she'll introduce you to other girls she knows. DISCLAIMER: If she's introducing you to woman that are on the bottom of the barrel she doesn't think that highly of you and it's time to abandon ship.
Take care of yourself. Seriously, get a gym membership. Make sure your hair and nails are cut. Unless you want a girl that doesn't take care of herself, take care of yourself.
Don'ts:
Lie. It makes you a pretty shitty person. Just don't do it. Might sound redundant with being honest as the first 'do', but it's just that important. If you want nothing more than to sleep with someone, don't elude them to a relationship. I've seriously gotten laid by just being honest about what I wanted. I've even had girls recommend me to other girls who are looking for a NSA type deal because they knew I wasn't in the market for a relationship.
Peacock. You're not Mark Walberg. You don't need to spread your wings. It's obnoxious and douchey. Try instead to keep things simple. Your personality and sense of humor should be flashy, not your outfit.
Get angry when you get turned down. I've slept with over 80 women but the number of women I've been turned down by is astonishing. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just politely move on like a sir.
Stay in your comfort zone. Learn something new. Just stay humble. This can actually work out well. I don't particularly like country music, but I go to country bars with my friends. Never have I gotten more face time with women who want to teach me how to 2-step because I don't know how, and readily admit it instead of putting up some front.
Mention only sex. If the relationship is ONLY sex then there probably won't be much talking to begin with. If you're at a party and you're flirting up some girl don't make it all about sex. Convey attraction in your tone, not explicitly saying, "me man! Me want snoo snoo!" You'll come off too strong. She'll let you know when she's ready.
Expect much from bars. Girls who go to bars want to dance, get free drinks, and have fun with there girl friends. Yes, I've gotten lucky at random bars with random girls but I can count on one hand the amount of times that's happened. House parties in a comfortable environment are where a lot of my successes have been found.
Try too hard. For one, if you come off too strong you're going to scare someone. Just roll into it. Secondly, if you're pursuing a girl who's not at all interested in you, you're going to miss out on the girl that is interested in you.
Fun Fact: girls usually know when they want to have sex with you within the first five minutes of meeting you. Actually getting there obviously depends on the individual, however in my experiences being honest and a little charming can get you where you wanna be.
This is a lot, but if you guys want to ask me questions or specifics I'm open to anything. Let me know!
[–]TheWizardofBaghdad 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm interested
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I posted some do's and don'ts in a comment thread if you're still interested!
[–][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
Does she smile a lot around you? Does she look for excuses to touch you (slapping your shoulder/chest in a joking manner or something to that effect)? Does she make positive comments about your physical attributes? Does it seem like you always make her laugh? Does she make comments like, "you smell so good!"? These are usually the biggest hints. Keep in mind I've never had sex within five minutes of meeting a girl, that's usually when they think, "he's fuckable." If she's giving you all of the clues it's on you to make a move. Again, the time from her deciding you're fuckable to actually having sex depends on the girl. Keep making her laugh!
DISCLAIMER: When I say make a move, I mean flirt back, or ask for a date. DO NOT just try to take her on the spot after you met her five minutes ago. Get to know her just enough to make sure. If she agrees to a date with you then you're pretty much in. But forcing yourself on a girl you just met is usually called sexual assault, and that a gentleman does not do.
[–]unorthodoxintrovert 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Awesome brother! I'd love to hear your story sometime. How you got started, whether you were already good with women to begin with, or you had to work at it. Also, what's the next step for you now?
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I was horrible at first. I couldn't talk to women to save my life. The first time I had sex it was because the girl felt bad for me. I started putting myself out more, volunteered more (animal shelters, habitat for humanity, wounded warrior project just to name a few) and I met more women. I went from staying home all the time to going out and just talking. After a while I realized that if you could talk to women like they were people (not in a demeaning way, and not in a way that outs them above you) they respond well and will give you more of their time.
Now I'm currently happily married to an amazing woman and I couldn't be happier :)
[–]craiggy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm curious about how your wife feels about you sleeping with over 80 women
I was honest with her when she asked me how many partners I had before her. She's very understanding. Also the experience helps in the bedroom ;) All in all she's been amazing about my past. If she was insecure it probably wouldn't work.
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Teach me brah.
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Do you have a specific question Bropalean Bronopart? I'd be more than happy to give my two cents.
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Teach me everything. I mostly dont know how to do a good social living, and i have awfully-bad-horrible logistics, as i live in a shithole in the middle of nowhere with the nearest big city at 40 minutes metro. Logistics right now is my problem. Meeting beautifull women in social circles also.
Are you going to school or are you involved in any clubs? If you live in a rural community there probably aren't a lot of women to begin with, and 40 minutes on the metro is a long way to go on a regular basis. Also, with the scarcity of women where you're at the few that are there can probably pick and choose who they want between the men. This is not optimal, since you're going to feel like you have to constantly show off what your best attributes are it won't seem natural.
Try to make some friends in the city. Hopefully you make enough so that on the weekends you can crash at their place without seeming like a leech. Meet some dudes, compensate them for gas, food, or whatever else (obviously without giving them all of your money, just enough to be polite). If you can make this a regular thing then Monday through Friday will be pretty uneventful, but the weekends will be awesome. Then once you do meet some girls you have the week to talk to them via text/phone to get to know them. The first time you meet them don't try to go all out. Use that week to build up to something good for the next weekend. That, and when girls ask about where you're from, what you do, etc, make sure you tell the truth. "I like coming to the city because it's pretty boring where I'm from. So on the weekends I hang out with my friends to get away."
Always remember to be safe though. Also, if the closest big city to you has a reddit page (eg. r/newyork, r/sandiego) then hop on there and just see what there is to do. See if anyone there has similar interests to you that wants to hang out. That way you're planting seeds before you even get on the metro.
I hope this helps. Have fun! Be safe! Let me know if you have any more questions!
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Meet some dudes, compensate them for gas, food, or whatever else (obviously without giving them all of your money, just enough to be polite)
How do i meet some dudes out of nowhere bro? I cant meet cause most the guys of my college who i hang out dont do that kind of living and also live far from the city. Im finishing my master degree in engineering BTW, so my plan is to move to that big city in about 1 year, depending on how things go.
Also im thinking about start practising jujitsu (chance to meet the supposed dudes and probably one or two girls), learning a new language and start painting classes.
This is what i want, what i will get we will see, cause right now is hard to predict.
You'll meet a lot of guys in Jujitsu but probably not a lot of women. Do it because you like it. That's the biggest thing. Do things you like, if there's women there you have something in common. Be open minded. I'm an engineering major myself so I know we can all be introverted, but that's why I'm saying make friends. Try new places to eat, or new bars. Spark up random conversations with guys and if you two end up being cool, buy the next round. Instant friend. Just make sure you don't come off too strong... then it might seem like you're trying to pick him up. Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't sound like that's your cup of tea. Just be friendly and have a good time.
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[–]christmas162589 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheWizardofBaghdad 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]unorthodoxintrovert 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]craiggy 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]novaksnow -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]christmas162589 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link