I came across yet another post earlier today that reminded me of this article I posted years ago that apparently still holds true.  I read the article and the old familiar dread started to hit me.  Guys still have one HUGE sticking point. That is overcompensation.  Whether it be “Overcompensating Alpha” or “Overcompensating Abundance Mindset” or whatever.  Overcompensating is a HUGE thing that fucks up so many people in the Seduction Community..  In pretty much every case it is never the real deal.  It is covering up for the thing they lack. It's the EGO at play.

In the case of a guy who is overcompensating alpha behaviors, it’s usually to try and make up for his fear that he is not alpha enough, and that is usually after he studies something, somewhere about how the alpha male is the one getting all the tail. (Hey I like that.  It rhymes. – The alpha male gets all the tail.)  So now this guy who a week ago who was timid and shy is now trying to be alpha but is clumsy with it so he either just comes across as annoying or he goes out of his way every chance he gets to prove his “alpha” behavior traits.  

So now when a girl he texts to go out, doesn’t show up to the date, he says, “FUCK THAT BITCH!  I’ll show her not to waste my time!  I am an ALPHA MALE!  I’ll make sure she knows it and I won’t give her an opportunity to go out with me EVER AGAIN!”  Meanwhile the poor guy just completely missed the point of being alpha.  Because where he thinks in his mind he is being this big alpha male, he is ACTUALLY making a bigger deal out of her not showing up than it really was.  Where if he was calm, cool, and nonreactive he could have texted her or called her later and had the possibility of even using her flake as a way to escalate the interaction toward sex.

That’s just one example.  The list, unfortunately goes on and on.  “Not buying girls drinks,” becomes, “Don’t take girls on dates,” becomes as one guy put it once on a private forum I belong to (and unfortunately in that case also he was coaching other guys), “Relationships are boring,” then later, “I don’t do that whole date thing.”  In other words, you can see where I’m going with this.  When guys let TRAINING rules become guidelines to define their lives, and they overcompensate for their lack of something in their personality, they create a mess.  If a guy wont take his own girlfriend on a date because he let a rule about – not buying bottle-rats in a nightclub a drink or taking a girl out to a $150 dinner so she can politely kiss him on the cheek and then go home and call “Jobless-Backwards-Hat-Guy” to come over and rail her – take over his life, but then complains that girlfriends are boring…  I mean, come on man.  It’s your job as a man to LEAD.  If shit is boring in your relationship, then take her out.  If a fear of getting taken advantage of has infested your mind to the point that you overcompensate “Alpha” by avoiding going and having adventure-time with your girl – well, not very alpha is it?  But the list of these things in the community goes ON and ON…

"Bro, you gotta bang those bitches and whores if you want to have success! Stop jerking off to porn, loser, and get out there and do 50 approaches a night, no excuses!"

To a new guy, who is inexperienced, still has a lot of angst for the women, and doesn't know the reality of going out in the field every night of the week; doesn't know that quality interactions will actually make it so having a large number of approaches in a night or day impossible; hasn't gotten to the point of realizing from experience that bouncing off of every set that you find at a nightclub will actually burn turf and make you look like a desperate clown on acid; hasn't gotten to the point where one realizes women are our partners in a dance and have a healthy respect for them - that they're not "whores and bitches and sluts" describing them like some virgin high school kid talking to his buddies who are also virgins...

Basically, it's a guy who lacks experience, knowledge, and confidence in something, so he's trying to act and pretend in a way that he thinks the guy who is successful with women would act, but he's never been there so he can only guess, and because he's guessing, it comes across just clumsy, weird, corny... But to the guys who don't have the experience, and don't know any better, they think he sounds cool, they think he sounds like he knows what he's talking about. "He's so alpha! Look at all that rage and toughness. I want to punish all those whores that rejected me too!"

They think the guy that acts like some character in a hip-hop video or a movie that they saw, well that must be reality. That must be how guys who get lots of women in their life really act.

This kind of thing is, in reality, just about the same thing as a guy buying an expensive sports car because he thinks it will get him more women in his life.

Check it out, back in the day Mystery said it best. We are learning a skillset so that when we do come across that amazing girl we are ready to act and know what to do (not an exact quote but I’m too lazy too look it up).

Some guys get into this community to find a girl, get married, and live happily ever after. The funny thing is, I know guys who did just that. They went out a few times and ended up meeting a kickass girl they liked and then got married. So what? I don’t see anything wrong with that idea. But the danger of a guy who's caught in the overcompensating mindset, is that he's going to think that he just needs to do more approaches, get more lays under his belt, and he becomes more interested in pick up, then actually having awesome experiences with women. The guy actually is obsessed with pick up to the point where he can't enjoy his interactions with women anymore. To him it's more about pick up, "I gotta get laid, I gotta get laid!" then it is about what he actually got into all this dating or seduction stuff for - meeting and having awesome experiences, sexual, and otherwise, with women. So all it does is actually, where the guy thinks he's being what an alpha male is, he's actually being a desperate beta male. He's covering up his pain, frustration, loneliness and desperation with bullshit that makes his ego feel like he's in control.

Again, guys like to take things like, “Don’t buy girls drinks,” to ridiculous proportions. SO you got guys doing boneheaded shit like inviting a girl to go out for drinks and then when the tab comes, looking at the girl like, “are you going to pay your half?”

That doesn’t come across as Alpha or Socially Savvy – it actually has the opposite effect. The guy comes across as Socially Awkward and a Cheap Ass – kinda like the friend I had in highschool who would ask for gas money after asking me to come to the mall with him.

Same thing with ONEITIS – It is not meant to teach guys to have this sad, hopeless, bleak outlook that there is not a kickass perfect girl for them out there. It is meant to instruct guys to go out, keep playing, and approach LEARNING from an ABUNDANCE mindset. So instead of the new guy going after only one woman, he can go after several to LEARN HIS SKILLSET.

But again, unfortunately a lot of the new-blood misconstrued the concept and now it has become more than a stepping stone to training, it has become an IDEAL – It has become DOGMA! Actually, what is has done is also become a PROTECTION, a SHIELD against getting hurt.

Instead, a guy who is alpha and in control would think, "Ya, there are a LOT of kickass girls, but for sure there is one amazing chick out there for me. But I’m not going to stop, drop and roll and just look for her. No man, life is a journey and I will enjoy all these chicks along the way, maybe even thinking that the current or next girl could be her, I might even allow myself to “fall in love” with the girl, if it’s even for 1 night. So when I say scarcity, the REASON guys say there is no “One” is to PROTECT THEMSELVES from FAILURE. That’s not abundance thinking at all. They're afraid of putting themselves out there and getting rejected.

It is simply an updated form of “fear of rejection”.

I can go on and on with this stuff. I'm trying to illustrate it so you get the idea. But what is all this going to do? What's the problem with a guy going around and thinking that he's bad ass even if he's not? Fake it till you make it, right?

But you can't fake it if you don't know what you're actually trying to fake. Modeling human behavior is something that will help one grow, but only if they have a solid model to work from that already is having success. Modeling and pretending that you're something that you have no idea about are completely two different things.

Being real with oneself on the path to learning is the key to all of this game. If you want to succeed you must be real with where you're at the entire time, you must accept your faults, you must accept where you suck, you must realize your strengths, your positive attributes, you must understand and know what your weaknesses are. Being real with oneself in all of these areas is absolutely critical for changing and improving. So if one goes around and he creates a facade for himself where he is pretending to be what he is not, he will stay stuck.

Read that again until you get it.

Remember! You didn't get into this to impress your friends, or random people on the internet. You didn't get into this, so that you could go out and "fuck a hundred strippers, bro." Maybe some of you did, but I'm willing to bet most of you really just wanted to be able to go out and meet a few women, have a fun time, and enjoy your life. Many of you probably got into this to heal that empty void that so many of us have had at one time or another. But then a lot of guys got sucked into overcompensating - trying to talk big talk, and now you believe that "you have to go out and sleep with a hundred strippers, bro or else you're a fuckin loser, Fuck those whores!!"

You let other guys, that are no better off than you are, tell you how you should be approaching and thinking about this and you've lost the essence of why you got into this in the first place. So my warning to everybody is, don't let the overcompensation bug infest you like a cancer and turn you into a pickup creepster and keep you stuck not progressing.

Keep a good head on your shoulders, be real with yourself, if you're going to model behavior, make sure that you know exactly what you're modeling.

Don't fall for other guys who are stuck in shit, spreading their garbage your way and keeping you stuck in the same shit.

And if you're still not sure what that means, feel free to ask me about specifics, either here and comments, or send me a direct message, and I'll be happy to help.