Overthinking/Ruminating

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-10-08T12:57:37+00:00

Self amusement combined with letting go of the outcome will get you past this. If your having fun and not caring about what happens after, that pretty much overcomes all. Easier said than done, but try to put yourself in a state where you are just having fun, not caring much about what happens, and letting go of all self judgment.

Look at it as a social experiment. It’s your inner beliefs that need to change. And you need positive feedback for that to happen. So, go have fun in a care free way and see if you can tune out your logical brain. Especially in between interactions. Turn off that negative voice. Frame everything as fun. Even rejections.

Remember, game is fun, not serious. Let your thinking mind shut off and just become unfiltered, fully Present in the moment. Don’t make a big deal about it. Learn to laugh at yourself.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-10-08T11:40:34+00:00

well, you could increase your social awareness so that you are capable of knowing whether a woman will reject your advances or not and then you can just not ask or wait for her attraction to grow before asking.

or you could stop assigning pass / fail labels to interpersonal interactions.

or both.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-10-09T08:41:17+00:00

1

It's been asked before I'm sure, but how do I get out of my head when I get rejected, or an imagined rejection......

The way we look at things matters a lot.

If you lose a friend because of a transgression, that will hurt.

But you're talking here about someone not being interested in you. Before you even know them. So, we know a few things to be true:

You weren't compatible.
You didn't lose someone you had a connection with. Events revealed that this person was not what you thought or hoped. You lost nothing.

2

literally not making an approach because my brain decides to block off the ability to think clearly and stay level-headed, especially around hot girls that dress sexy.

Right, because of two things:

Meeting strangers has not been normalized for you.
You are placing too much significance on this person you don't even know.
You are, by implication, assuming that they pass your own standards when you don't even know them yet. It's assuming too much.

3

I certainly appreciate that you just immediately make a move to not let your brain give you the chance to talk yourself out of it, but it's not working, or I'm not quite there yet, at least not with random strangers in pubs and clubs, or in the street.

When you're in your mind you need to shift your focus outside your mind, to the here and now.

Focus on the sensations in your body. Start at your feet and move up your body to your head.
Then look around the room and really take note of what's going on around you. What are people saying and doing? What are they wearing? Etc.

zapadz · 2022-10-08T17:55:09+00:00

Here are videos on dealing with rejection and getting out of your head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rT-eMAtJyE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nVa4Juy9jQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfAMh6Edm4

reddit235831 · 2022-10-08T21:03:47+00:00

There is no shortcut but hard work. Approaching over and over, at the start just the act of approaching itself, is the only answer.

Title	Overthinking/Ruminating
Author	NunyaBidnizz68
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	October 8, 2022 10:52 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xyprd3/overthinkingruminating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/overthinkingruminating.1248728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248728

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