We as humans do something I like to call "overcompensation theory" as we grow.

For instance I had a friend that was super shy. I got her to improve her confidence yet she overshot her goal in some areas of confidence and is now a confused cunt.

She is now in the phase of growth that many call calibration. Many people use that term for a short term thing but in the long run we use it as we grow fast. It is like growing pains.

I know your situation well. I made a couple girls cry as I was being cocky funny. The thing though is... this game of life is dynamic and we cannot please everyone.

You can utilize the concept of short term calibration to interact with people based on their personality. We actually tend to do this often without realizing it but on a broader scale. Some may call it "putting on a face".

  • The work face
  • The face you wear around mom
  • The clubbing face
  • The old people face

We change our behavior to adapt to situations in which it would be best to act a certain way. Generally we only calibrate to main things like above. HOWEVER let's say you have your clubbing face on. This means that you are acting a set way for your energy and mood of that time period. So generally you have a few club faces but no in-betweeners as presets. We tend to use presets because it is easiest for our minds to grasp. But let's say you go up to a girl and she looks like all the other hot girls of same basic beauty and you treat her exactly the same as those girls. Now she reacts a certain way but you continue forward acting as you would with any other girl of her beauty. She gets hurt but another girl of the same beauty there at the same club would be excited as all get out at that same behavior you were exhibiting.

You can calibrate based on the person you interact with.

The question then becomes...

  • Do you want her for sex?
  • Do you want her as a prospective mate?
  • Do you just want to have a good time?
  • Do you want to just make a new friend?
  • Do you just want to see her when you are out and nothing else?

The thing is... if you want her as your mate then acting yourself is the best bet. The thing about that is... being yourself is a constant work in progress here on seddit. We strive forward to be better human beings for OURSELVES and nobody else. We aim to be happy while at the same time be as charismatic as possible to win as many hearts and minds as possible and to do so while adding immense value to yourself as well as them. So honestly... you are calibrating to be the best you for yourself and others and all that remains is what is your goal in that list I made?

If you want to be yourself then you are going to be the man that is currently advancing himself internally and externally and calibrating for the long term success that is you.

Guess what though... you are going to break a few hearts, get heartbroken, hurt someones feelings, etc. along the way on accident. You don't intend to it seems. Just keep being objective and calibrating for the long term success that is your heart, body, mind, and if you believe in it... soul.

Rock on you magnificent bastards