"How dare we let fear rule us"

EtovNowd · 2011-11-03T22:27:40+00:00

In a value-based system, lacking value is the worst thing you can be. Fear keeps you from accepting that you have no value and keeps you participating with Society.

Consider it like the philosophical reasoning on whether or not to believe in God:

God Exists?	Yes	No
Believe	Eternal Life	n/a
Don't Believe	Eternal Damnation	n/a

The argument here is that regardless of whether God exists or not, it's best to believe simply because the payout/punishment is worth it.

In terms of value, here's this table:

Aware/Know Self-Value?	Yes	No
High Value	High	n/a
Avg Value	Average	n/a
Low Value	Low	n/a

Probability of being Low Value?	.33	.00

The argument here is that regardless of your value, it's best to not know (fear) because then the outcome must be either Average or High. To know (courage) means that you have a 1/3 chance of being each; either Low, Average, High.

What fear does is prevent you from knowing whether or not you have a 'low value'. So what it basically claims, is that by not acting I'm one of two values: Average or High. ... With fear you can still claim to not be of low value because you've chosen not to act and therefore it can't be proven to you. Therefore, since I have yet to be proven of having Low value, I must have either High or Average.

But with fear you never get feedback, so you never know which of the two you are. But you do 'know' that it's 50/50 either way.

With Courage, you get feedback, and therefore you know which of the three you are. Now you decreased you chances of being Average or High. With fear you were guaranteed 100% to be either High or Average. With courage you drop down to a guarantee of only 66% to be either two.

-- Therefore if you choose not to act (fear) then what you do is simply give more value to any feedback you receive. That is why those who have chosen 'fear' most of there lives get devastated by rejection or get extremely validated/excited by relationships. Once those relationships end, they get devastated again.

-- With courage, you're always given feedback. With courage you give little value to feedback or you don't care about the outcome. Therefore you place more value on your current position and your ability to transition.

Value is like a forest. People focused on fear only focus on one tree at a time. Sometimes that tree is growing, sometimes it's dying. People focused on courage see the forest, sometimes there's some trees dying but there are also others growing, as long as the forest is growing and healthy as a whole it doesn't matter what the individual trees are doing. The individual trees are just feedback, the more you have, the bigger your forest is.

tl;dr Courage, it's worth it.

graffiti81 · 2011-11-03T19:46:42+00:00

I think Johnny Soprano explained it pretty well when he said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that we fear rejection because we evolved in very small and isolated groups and rejection from one female would lower our desirability to the group overall.

In my case, I also fear that those rejections will be proof of what I already believe about myself. People say 'be confident' yet when you have no reason to be confident (and reasons not to be confident), it's difficult not to fear going deeper into that belief.

drumdance · 2011-11-03T18:50:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Max_Freedom · 2011-11-03T18:37:51+00:00

Interesting and very helpful. Thank you.

miss-mafiosa · 2011-11-04T03:15:56+00:00

I needed to read this. Seriously. Thank you.

testmypatience · 2011-11-04T16:19:51+00:00

Nothing to fear but fear itself. Really.

leevs11 · 2011-11-04T16:27:59+00:00

I'm really pleasantly surprised by the Robert California character on the office. He's not in the episode a ton, but that's what's nice. I like how everyone is afraid of him.

That halloween episode started off weird, but ended awesomely.

ge99 · 2011-11-04T04:50:37+00:00

Too much mental masturbation going on in here and the mindset is all wrong.

There is a huge difference between saying:

"I fear approaching women, I need to get over the fear to have fun"

and

"I fear approaching women, that fear is irrational and stupid"

The 2nd mindset is what you should think about. Not some Dr. Phil feel good nonsense about getting over your own anxieties.

Ferranax · 2011-11-03T23:41:15+00:00

Do you have a link for this other than Hulu for those of us outside the US?

2011-11-04T03:12:11+00:00

Word

bangthemermaid · 2011-11-04T11:51:07+00:00

that title sounds like you want to bully yourself out of being bullied.

testmypatience · 2011-11-04T02:09:03+00:00

Read "The 50th law by 50 Cent" Great book about overcoming fear.

Title	"How dare we let fear rule us"
Author	testmypatience
Upvotes	137
Comments	72
Date	November 3, 2011 5:34 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lz7ad/how_dare_we_let_fear_rule_us/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-dare-we-let-fear-rule-us.1324563 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324563

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