*This is for approaching during the day. Approaching at night is a whole other can of worms.*

*This applies to guys with the tendency to think a lot of about this. So, it's tailored more specifically to this personality type. If you don't think this way, then try out what works for you.*

I've been asked this question a lot. For those who are afraid of getting banned from somewhere, getting a bad reputation in your city, or whatever else, here's what you need to make sure to have in order to deal with that mental fear. Approach anxiety will always be there, but you can at least know for sure that the societal consequences will at most be judgments from insecure people, rather than actually getting banned from places or tarnishing your name. Think of it as "how would I approach this girl if I knew that she could report me to HR". I know that it sounds extreme, and you'd probably say "then I wouldn't approach her", but the idea is that you're approaching in a way so that regardless of how she reacts to your approach, you have VERY GOOD plausible deniability, and EVEN IF in an extreme case someone tried to kick you out of somewhere, you'd have the proof that you never did or said anything that can be viewed as "crossing the line".

Note 1: This is not to be confused with not taking risks. You still need to take risks, push the interaction forward, and tease a bit. But, there's ways to do it where you can use plausible deniability to say "I'm just making conversation, why is she over-reacting?" vs. your social calibration being so out of whack that you can justifiably be ostracized. Taking the risks afterwards though are fine (ex. on a date) because then, even if you're rejected, there's no societal repercussion.

Note 2: This applies more for a certain type of person with this specific fear. If a girl rejects an initial advance (ex. for a kiss), a lot of guys have made second and third attempts later on, and found success and been happy with that. Personally, I also have too much self-respect to try again later after having already taken an overt risk once during the date to move things forward (unless it's super obvious that they're just shy and inexperienced). I'm also not going to make a second attempt on the "off chance" that she's into it. You're getting into dangerous territory and crossing boundaries there, imo. Also, I'm not wasting my time on them "playing hard to get". They can do that alone. Ironically, that mindset tends to have the effect of making them chase.

Note 3: You might lower your "pull" rate by a small percentage (which is likely negligible if you're approaching enough), but on the other hand, you're creating an amazing contingency plan for yourself.

Here's what to follow if you want to take this route:

(1) For the initial approach, DON'T TOUCH THEM, unless it's a handshake or high-five. Only escalate much deeper into the interaction once some attraction or comfort is built (ex. shoulder tap). Even then, there are other strong ways to escalate without touch for the first time you meet. Going in for a hug when they're a complete stranger can make you "look cool", but it doesn't change much in an overall sense. Every time you go for some form of touch, you put yourself at risk. Maybe you've been Scott-free up until now, but that's not to say that you always will be.

(2) Do a re-frame approach. This consists of going from an indirect to direct approach. Your intent gets through so you come off as authentic, and you disarm the girl and everyone around to where the interaction comes off as normal, so anyone who tries to "call you out" looks like an asshole in the situation, because oh you're just making conversation, right? So in turn, they must have problems.

How you do it is you give any indirect or situation opener. A question works great. For example, "Excuse me, do you know where I can find the nearest Starbucks?". Then as soon as she's about to respond, say "I'm just kidding, I thought you looked interesting". Note, you didn't say "cute" or "adorable", you just said "interesting". The intent gets through, and you come off as being authentic, AND you have plausible deniability. Also, the girl is caught off guard and you spurred emotions in her (which could lead to a spark of attraction). In terms of deniability, you just called her interesting, right? So if security or someone tries to call you out, you can literally reverse the situation on them being the asshole because you're making "normal conversation". In reality, you're expressing your sexual interest. Also, you can do this approach with a girl in ANY situation. It might come off as a goofball, and it might be obvious what you're trying to do (ex. if you ask directions from a specific girl out of everyone in a room), but it doesn't matter because you have plausible deniability. It's basically a social power-play. You're creating leverage for yourself.

(3) Body language and tonality is most of it. Loud enough voice with depth and conviction, normal eye contact but in certain moments holding it for longer to keep the sexual tension, good posture, no fidgeting and seeming pretty relaxed, and an expressive face while smiling in a smirk kind of way does wonders. This gets through most of the intent.

(4) Teasing can be done in MULTIPLE ways WITHOUT touching or using overtly sexual or objectifying wording, and can still make the interaction fun and sexual.

For example: During a silence, you tilt your head with a smirk, pursed lips, and slightly closed eyes and say "Hmmmm....". She'll likely say "What?". Then you say "I'm not sure about you..." while smirking, then move on the conversation. It's a REALLY great way to tease and qualify, and you have complete plausible deniability. The deniability also adds sexual tension, in a way.

(5) Other than teasing (which is done just to spice things up and added sparingly), you just have normal conversation. Alternate between statements, open-ended questions, and cold-reads for as long as you want. Statements could be formed as questions, commentary, or answers. Cold-reads could leads to assumption questions. Etc. Etc.

(6) When you go for their social media or number, you can either mention something you guys talked about to do together, or mention "hanging out at" whatever place is close and you like going to.

(7) If they're not interested or say they have a boyfriend, people have different opinions on this, but the most efficient and compassionate way to act would be to say "that's fine" or "take it as a compliment" and then "have a nice day". This shows that you're comfortable in your own skin, and it leads to the end of the interaction not getting into some weird cringe-fest or genuine creepiness or pushiness on your end.