Putting it ON HOLD. A question for guys who date multiple women.

nlyles1 · 2015-02-12T04:59:17+00:00

You should go into this with the mindset that It's probably just not going to work. You can't cut ties with women and then turn them back on whenever you like. Women aren't as agreeable as men to be placed on the backburner. A girl doesn't text you in 5 months and sends you a "hey" you're probably going to respond. You don't text a girl after a month, and you're probably going to get no reply.

The majority of women with self respect aren't going to see a guy who they don't think sees them as a priority. It's just how they are.

If I were you I'd probably drop a few from the roster, focus on the ones you actually like, and then continue narrowing down if you want a relationship.

However, if you do want to attempt to reestablish contact, aftee say a month or so, I'd suggest a solid excuse for the lack of attention.

Instead of just "hey how have you been?"

I'd go with " hey insert name here I'm so sorry I haven't texted you in a while. I've been crazy busy with family emergency(nothing serious or memorable though. Like your uncle was hospitalized or had surgery or something) and then got sent on a business trip to a city that's not yours but now that I'm in town, I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee/lunch/other short date option and catch up! My treat :)"

This will at least give the girl a reason to why she hasn't been a priority with a legitimate excuse, let her know you're still interested, and it's a short date so if things aren't great you can shake hands and part ways. That being said, you'll probably still get a few non replys, but that's about as good as I can come up with. If I were a girl and a guy texted me that, I'd probably at least text him back.

linddss · 2015-02-12T20:59:20+00:00

So I'm female and I went through the stage of carrying a few guys around and knew I was probably one of many girls these guys were seeing. I will tell you that if you cut ties with me I'm long gone. You'd have to catch me in a particularity sad and pathetic mood in order to get a response but I mean some girls are very casual and would find you hitting them up a month later as a compliment, thinking you lost touch but they sparked your interest. It's hard to say but you're probably going to lose some of these lovely ladies along the way

DariusSSfJ · 2015-02-12T07:31:30+00:00

I really don't see where's the problem here.

As long as your frame from the start was that it's a casual fling, there shouldn't be any problems, heck, it can even make things easier (great way to maintain the casual status for years).

For me, meeting them once a month (or occasionally once every couple of months) with little to no communication in between has been standard and haven't had issues with this approach at all. From the start those women knew that I'm a busy guy.

Here's couple of caveats: -If you used to communicate daily/few times a week (texting and stuff) and then stop, it might raise some suspicion but you shouldn't do that anyway. -There's always a chance that during that window she will find another guy to get monotonous with (at least for a while). Don't take this personally, it could've happened while you were active FWBs too. Don't be surprised if she pings you after that "serious" relationship ends.

Lastly, what do you have to lose, really?

Title	Putting it ON HOLD. A question for guys who date multiple women.
Author	SmoothLike
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	February 12, 2015 2:37 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2vly7s/putting_it_on_hold_a_question_for_guys_who_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/putting-it-on-hold-a-question-for-guys-who-date.1383808 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383808

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