Hi everyone my name’s J. I’ll be upfront: I’m pretty solid in most areas of life. I have a stable job, a strong social circle, and a good sense of style. Where I’m struggling a bit is my weight (I’ve gained some since high school) and leaning into masculinity.

I’m naturally masculine, but when I moved schools growing up, I ended up mostly around girls and really clicked with them. So that’s not not me not wanting not be myself it’s more of coping school which makes it harder for me to approach women romantic way as I get nervous. That shaped some of my mannerisms. I have no issue talking to women in a friendly, comfortable way that part’s easy. What I struggle with is shifting that into a seductive dynamic.

I’ve had a few flings, and they were into me, but I tend to push people away once I start feeling clingy. So I’m trying to figure out how to flirt and seduce confidently without slipping into that pattern. Basically: how do I stop being “safe bestie” and start being “oh… him”?