After reading a lot about oneitis I stumbled over the idea that oneitis is just the symptom of me living an unfulfilled life

I realized this is the case in my life. I have approach/escalation anxiety and struggle with my mindset every day.

What makes the oneitis stronger that this girl seems to have everything what I want.

She thinks rationally about everything and enjoys life with party and boys before she starts to study at a top 10 uni. (I know that because I still date here casually)

While I don't want to have her life, I want to have her carefree happiness

The advice would be to come over the oneitis with fucking 10 woman, but approach anxiety and a weak mind will make this process very slow.

I feel like I wanted to type that down