An experience I had last night taught me something very important.

I'd taken a basic course in dancing this month as a way of learning more about phsyical control and leading. It was not cheap, but I figured since Neil Strauss did it I might as well give it a shot and see what I learned. It was helpful and fun (although what I learned at sex clubs this month taught me a great deal more about myself).

Something soured me to the whole deal though. This week my instructor came to me saying that I should consider really beefing up my dancing. She said that I was learning pretty fast and was doing well. I thought as a way of becoming really physically confident it would be a good idea. It's also good exercise and social.

And then the lead instructor told me the price. It was astronomical. I can't afford it. So I told them I'd consider the plan and let them know at my next lesson, which was last night.

When I got to the studio I heard the lead instructor tell my teacher to smile, which tipped me off to something. This wasn't just a lesson - this was a fucking sales pitch. I was already going to deny her, but I knew that I was a lead for a sale. The lesson was secondary.

After the lesson, during which I said I couldn't afford to take any more, I heard the lead instructor say to my teacher, "ABC baby." He also tried himself to presuade me to take more lessons. But that was the nail in the coffin. If you've seen Glengarry Glen Ross, you know what ABC means:

A - Always

B - Be

C - Closing

ALWAYS BE CLOSING

I wasn't a person to these people; it wasn't a mutual exchange. I was a lead - I had value to offer and they wanted nothing else but to take it from me. I hated that feeling. Women must hate that too - when some AFC comes up to them and compliments them because all he wants from her is the validation he gets from fucking her.

Of course, we all know this. But having felt it I realize just how disgusting it is.

This is why modern pickup - friendly, cool, confident, fun, present - is so necessary and important for guys. You have to realize that a woman wants sex too and she wants it from a guy with value who doesn't want anything other than to have some fun with her. As soon as that neediness creeps in there, the value giver gets totally turned off. No one wants to be with a guy who just takes. Never take; give and be given to.