Seating on first date question

bl1y · 2014-11-10T22:20:23+00:00

Hey, odds are you got that advice from something I wrote! (Your word choice sounds like how I've written it. Did the advice you read mention it drew from negotiation/mediation strategy?)

The 90 degree angle is best, but you also have to use some judgment. If the table is particularly small, then it might be awkward. But, for a normal sized 4 top, sit at the 90 degree spot rather than directly across. 90 degrees really is the best because it's not awkwardly close, but it still feels more intimate and friendly than facing directly across, which feels formal.

If it's a place with a booth though, obviously you have to sit across from her. Sharing a booth on a first date would be pretty weird (especially if you sit on the outside spot, trapping her inside). If you sit at the bar though, obviously you'll be next to each other, but you should turn your chair a bit towards her so you're not sitting shoulder-to-shoulder (you'll also hurt your neck having it turned all night). If the place has a couch sized for 3 people, it's okay to sit on the couch together, just leave at least half a spot's distance between you to start with (move closer if things are going well).

Going back to your question of it feeling awkward, I would certainly think so if I wasn't used to it! If she's also not used to guys doing it, then it might come across as a bit forward, but I don't think it'll really hurt anything. There will be a moment of "Hm... that was an odd choice," but soon she'll be thinking "Odd, but a smart choice! Way to go, guy!" It's a bit like kino the first time. Yeup, it's awkward, but only because it's new. Then once you get used to it, you start to notice how odd it is to have a conversation with someone that doesn't involve any amount of touching.

skeetch_a_leak · 2014-11-10T21:24:00+00:00

I always started out sitting at the bar, so we were next to each other and it wasn't at all out of the ordinary. By the time you decide you want to move to a table, it's awkward to not be sitting next to each other.

loyalcitizen · 2014-11-10T22:18:42+00:00

It's not awkward.

But be sure you can talk in person for 5 minutes before going in. If the very first thing that happens on the date is sitting down, it could be awkward.

TheJaguar77 · 2014-11-11T16:26:15+00:00

I always sit next to. When we go to sit, hold my hand out like 'you first' then sit next to her. No reason for it to be awkward, it's perfectly normal in fact.

Title	Seating on first date question
Author	givemesomefromage
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	November 10, 2014 9:19 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2lwbcd/seating_on_first_date_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seating-on-first-date-question.1379459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379459

Comments