Second time clubs solo, sober = failed... [28,M]

GameAndGains · 2017-08-19T03:31:15+00:00

Keep going out sober. Eventually you will desensitize yourself to the nightclub environment and will be able to keep your composure better. Go out every night no matter what. No fucking excuses I don't care if you have work in the morning suck it up.

If you are going to game high at least record your interactions and break them down sober to see what is it exactly about high you that makes you better at game. Break that shit down and add everything verbally you say to your sober game.

In the one time that I ever gamed with molly I found all that really was different is I was more cinematic and exaggerated in my actions and I just used that high reference experience and added it to my sober game.

The good thing about drugs is you at least remember everything about the night, unlike alcohol.

Also stop worrying about inner game. Trying to fix your inner game, by reading stupid books and programs about inner game does nothing as you have already found out. The only thing that actually fixes inner game issues is having actual success and results with women/life. In tell you have that reference experience yourself, you will never feel good about yourself no matter how many times you look in the mirror and tell yourself "you are enough" or read about how you are supposed to feel.

Hazeleyedguy14 · 2017-08-19T11:13:11+00:00

Nothing makes you feel like a winner better than winning

You are not failing, you are learning how to interact with women so they think it is a good idea to have sex with you. You are learning what not to do and what to do, both take time

ScottDurden · 2017-08-19T05:01:36+00:00

Clubs are meant to be high-anxiety places, because coincidentally they also sell the cure to anxiety - you guessed it, alcohol.

It takes a very long time to become comfortable in such a high anxiety situation. Keep at it. It will only get better with time.

Vasowos · 2017-08-19T05:09:38+00:00

Alcohol helps for me.

Tjodleik · 2017-08-19T20:06:16+00:00

You didn't fail. You went out alone and sober, while the vast majority of people around you are most likely drunk and would rather stay home than go out alone. So, if you are capable of facing your fears, as you did, and do what 95% of the people around you would be either unwilling to do or incapable of doing, then please explain to me how this can possibly be a failure.

Also, remember that this is a process that's going to take time. If you go out and expect stellar results right off the bat you're gonna crash. Hard. Depending on your starting point it's most likely gonna take at least three months before you see consistent results, and that's if you got most of it down already and only need to change a few things to be successful. If you're a hardcase who need to make major changes you're probably looking at six months to a year, or maybe even longer. Now, I'm not saying this to discourage you in any way, but you got to be prepared to be in it for the long haul.

I would also recommend putting girls on the back burner for a while and concentrate on working on your confidence and anxiety issues. You can of course do both if you really want to, but it's going to make things unnecessarily difficult as it means you're basically half-assing your way through both instead of dedicating all your energy and resources to one area.

Regarding your anxiety I'm gonna go really old school and pull up something David DeAngelo said; Go to a club, have a glass of water, sit at the bar and do nothing. How many people do you think are going to notice you, as in "come over and interact with you"? Chances are you can count them on one hand, and I'm willing to bet a fair amount of money on the fact that the vast majority of those interactions are going to be positive.

When it comes to dealing with anxiety there are a handful of tools I have found to be very effective.

Meditate. This article has some decent instructions on how to meditate, and since you're already into RSD here's Jeffy's little rant on the benefits of meditation.
Read this. It's somewhat long, but the gist of it is to experience your emotions without labeling them as "fear" or "anxiety." Just exist with them, let them run their course and then let them go. The theory behind this is that going into a situation that cause anxiety and constantly focusing on how anxious you feel is going to teach your brain to feel this emotion every time a similar situation comes up. In other words you're training your brain to feel anxiety when you're in a club/talking to girls/whatever. It's a process known as an implicit memory, which are subconscious responses to given situations. This also ties into my point about meditation, as I have found that it creates the mental "distance" necessary to observe my emotions without engaging in them.
Ask yourself why. Get to the root cause of your anxiety, drag it into the light and decide if it's actually helping you or if it's something that's rooted in faulty thoughts and assumptions, and is ultimately holding you back. I found the triple column technique and the list of distorted thinking patterns associated with it to be of great help here. Generally speaking, most of our fears and anxieties come from distorted thinking and/or a few bad experiences that we make into universal truths, and they will crumble to dust once you become aware of them and start looking closely at them.

My $0.02.

Title	Second time clubs solo, sober = failed... [28,M]
Author	quit32
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	August 19, 2017 3:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6umqui/second_time_clubs_solo_sober_failed_28m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/second-time-clubs-solo-sober-failed-28m.1432239 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432239

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