Sup Seddit,

Lately I’ve been seeing the topic of “I’m Indian/Asian/Insert Minority Here and can’t seem to get white girls” with more frequency. It really frustrates me seeing these sort of posts as most of the time it seems as if the person writing the post has either given up or resigned themselves to the fact that it’s gonna be an uphill battle to get a white girl. I am a 5’6” Indian guy and I’ve dated white girls that have generally been my height or taller and according to my friends “out of my league.” Do I get every white girl I set my eyes on? Hell no. Do I have a better success rate with girls of other races and backgrounds? Statistically it seems so. In this write up I will be discussing the more common baby steps you can take to improving yourself and improving your interactions with women. My main goal is to be able to provide some help to the minorities who are experiencing struggles when it comes to approaching American girls(most specifically the stereotypical all american white girl). A bit about me first though!

Disclaimer: While this writeup is geared towards minorities, indians specifically, anyone can take the knowledge given and apply it to their own lives!

I am currently a junior in college(21) but up until the summer before my senior year of high school I had resigned myself to the idea that I would never be able to date a white girl. I walked around carrying the mindset that I see many of you have here that white girls only went for white guys and didn’t want jack shit to do with Indians/Asians. That I had no chance, and would have to have a miracle occur for me to land a white girl. However, what was I doing to better my chances? The harsh truth was nothing. While I did dress what the trends were at the time and had somewhat of a social life, I wasn’t actually in the best physical shape(looks wise and fitness wise), or mental state (low confidence/negative mindset regarding girls).

In the middle of junior year I had started to involve myself in multiple hobbies and activities. Despite my small size I joined the rugby team and started working out, started going to a rock climbing gym a few times a week, and joined the breakdance club at school in an effort to try something out of my comfort zone. Looking back I had subconsciously started to develop the confidence that so many of us seek on this sub, my social circle had grown immensely, and I was finally looking good for the first time. I wasn’t big but had gotten into shape for sure. I started working on my appearance more and more; finding a hairstyle that suited me and looked good, dressing better and just taking care of myself better in general. By the end of the summer before senior year I had finally achieved what I always wanted…a white girlfriend. Life was great! However, I was not done. I still had much to learn, and after dating for a couple of years we broke up and I was back to stage 1. I felt as if all the momentum I had built up was gone. It has been a struggle getting back to my confident, self-appreciating persona. In reality while I was not totally back to the same place I was in high school I had taken a step back for sure and have been working on myself again every since.

For those of you who find themselves in the mindset that being a minority hurts your chances I’ve got a secret for you…it can do the exact opposite if you work the situation to your advantage. Think about it. Those that have read Models by Mark Manson will recall that he mentions being polarizing to women. He goes forward saying that just by being a different race you are being polarizing towards her just because of that difference. Don’t think that this makes getting girls easy peasy. Nothing worth having ever came easy. You may truly be working on and improving yourself everyday but know that you can never stop improving. That white girl that you have a deep infatuation with could realistically be yours. You just have to put in the work to give yourself the best situation and chances possible.

Before I start to list out what I believe to be the way to achieve your goals I will list some recommended readings.

Models by Mark Manson: I feel as if this book is a must-read and that anyone who is still struggling with women and hasn’t given this book a read needs to do so before complaining about not being able not do well with women. It teaches you that a delicate social structure exists between men and women. Typically women do not want to be with a man who is more invested in them than he is in himself. It shows neediness. This is more motivation for you to better yourself and invest in yourself. By being selfish and investing in yourself you are allowing yourself to have better success with women.

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover: I will admit I was skeptical before reading this book as I never really considered myself a nice guy, but about a year ago I gave it a read and was shocked at how much it applied to me. It really helps to put certain situations and frustrations into perspective. But it also tends to help with Manson’s idea of not being needy and how to achieve it. It teaches you to build self happiness, and to constantly strive to be the best version of you that you can be. Sound familiar? Non-neediness. Another great read.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: There is a reason so many fortune 500 CEOs praise this book. It is a great piece of literature that provides insight into human to human interactions and will give you certain tools you need to become a better conversationalist and possibly a better person.

Alright Drizzyboi. What’s next? How do I, a minority, get the white girls everyone talks about?

The process isn’t that much different being a minority than it is being the same race as the girl you pursue. I am gonna divide this part into 3 sections: Improving yourself physically, improving yourself mentally, and developing a cultural compliant attitude. Where I am going next should be quite self explanatory, but I will delve a bit into the explanation for those a bit newer to the seddit scene. You want to take care of yourself and be the best version of yourself that you can be because women see the value that you hold yourself to. By constantly improving how you look, how you feel, and how you act it shows others you are highly invested in yourself. This is how women in America find value. You are important enough to yourself that you want to take the effort to look better. This helps to build status and exudes confidence. Things that American girls are attracted to and seem to gravitate towards in a guy.

Improving Yourself Physically:

While charisma and a great personality can do loads for you when it comes to women, the first thing they, or anyone for that matter, will see if your appearance. Most likely when it comes to engaging them they will be able to look at you closely, smell you, tell if you take care of your own personal hygiene in other areas(teeth, hair, skin) and see how you dress.

Your personal hygiene should be taken care of before anything else. I don’t care if you have the dopest suit or the best style, if your breath stinks, you have body odor, or you look like you just got out of bed, then that girl you are talking to is gonna notice real fast. Think about it for yourself, when you are speaking to someone what does your mind go to first? Their physical appearance. I do not mean to stereotype but after speaking with a few of my female friends who have had Indians guys hit on them, the biggest thing they say is an immediate turn off is the body odor. Imma be real, I’m Indian and if I don’t shower/use deodorant I smell. For a lot of Indians, it isn’t because we naturally smell as bad as we tend to do, it usually stems from our diet. Certain spices we consume cause us to sweat nasty smelling odors. How can you remedy this?

  1. Shower...everyday.

  2. Use deodorant: My cousin who lives in India doesn’t use it and from what I figured it isn’t part of the culture as a necessity. Well lemme tell ya, in the U.S. for example, if you are trying to attract a white girl. You best be using deodorant or you’ll be smelling regardless if you showered that day or not.

  3. Brush your teeth well everyday. Twice a day minimum. 2 minutes each time.

    i. Flossing is something many overlook, but it makes a world of a difference. Try to floss at least once a day, you will notice your teeth will become whiter and bad breath seems to be less of an issue with less gunk between your teeth. Plus I’m guessing you still want your teeth when you turn 50 right

While some may call me out for automatically assuming that people don’t understand basic hygiene, you’d be surprised at how many Indians(that I’ve personally known) skip some of these steps, and then bitch about how girls find them weird or make excuses to not be around em.

Next we will focus on improving looks as much as we can in a way that exudes “I care about myself and value myself.” This helps to build that initial perceived value from the opposite party. Immediate perceived status. Lets start from the top.

  1. Hair. It isn’t that hard to look up and print out a picture of a trendy hairstyle and take it to a hairstylist/barber and sport a good haircut. So many guys(not just asians/indians) will walk around not giving a damn about how their hair looks. However, for our intents and purposes, we will assume that you do since you’re trying everything you can to improve your chances with women.

    i. A lot of hairstyles recently have been gravitating towards short on the sides and back, and longer hair on the top. I will try and post a picture of the way I style my hair as an example down below.

  2. Face. No I do not mean changing the way your face looks, but what I mean is washing/cleaning your face regularly and applying moisturizer/skin care products to help reduce acne/dry skin/black heads. For us brown men we tend to grow facial hair quite fast. This puts us into a bit of a situation: shave consistently or let it grow. Here is my advice on this topic. If you have a strong jawline, go ahead and put in the effort to keep a clean shave. Girls fucking dig nice jawlines. If you have a bit of a weaker chin/nonexistent jawline I would recommend growing out the beard as that will help to cover it up. This will require some work as well to keep it nicely trimmed and maintained but hey, nothing worth having comes easy right?

  3. Body. Workout. Don’t have the time for a gym? No big deal. Pushups, planks, and situps are your best friend. All can be done at home, in your dorm, in your small room, wherever. There should be no excuse for you to not be able to exercise a little bit. Start with 2 sets of 10 pushups, 2 sets of 10 situps, 30 seconds of plank. That is a very, very easy and basic set. Increase it as you go and become stronger. For those of you able to access a gym, I would suggest a visit to r/fitness and finding a nice composite workout program to start off with. Girls want a fit guy, so why not give em what they want and give YOURSELF a hot bod at the same time?

  4. Clothing. I’m not saying you need to go out and buy all polo or all designer. Not by a long shot, but you should atleast have some sense of style. Again I do not consider myself an expert on all fashion styles, so I will have you go over to r/malefashionadvice. The sidebar has a lot of great information that would be worth perusing. What I will say, however, is that you should wear clothes that FIT FIT FIT. I cannot stress that enough. Too baggy and you look like a slob, and too tight you’re uncomfortable and looking weird in certain situations. Figure out what style works best for you and own that shit. Preppy? Fratty? Whatever your style is, get some clothes that fit and trendy.

i. Shoes are a big deal as well. You don’t need to drop 100+ bucks to get a good looking pair of shoes these days. Make sure they are comfortable, match with the clothes you’re wearing, and you’re golden. In my experience, converse tend to be very safe options if you are unsure what goes well with what you are wearing. Vans work well too! Sperrys if that’s your style. Again hittup r/malefashionadvice

Following these steps will get you going in the right direction in regards to maintaining your physical appearance. Essentially you care about taking care of yourself first before expecting other people to care about how you look. Of course it isn’t complete advice but it is a good place to start. Moving on we will look at improving yourself mentality. In short: mindset.

Subreddits to browse for advice: r/malefashionadvice r/malehairadvice r/fitness TL;DR Part 1: You should give it a full read if you really want to improve your success but main points are: Read Models by Mark Manson, Take care of your physical appearance, hygiene and clothing style.

Since I'm running out of the limiting number of characters I will separate my write-up into multiple posts. Will post the link below. Link to part 2: Edit: Added a TL;DR and link to second post