Today I tried my first true cold approach ever! It felt good to have the confidence to give it a shot. I call it a cold approach, but we had made minor small talk in the weeks leading up to giving it a shot. Long story short, she gave me a "soft" rejection, or at least I interpreted it as that, and I would love to get some insight from you guys on how I could've played it better.
To give y'all some context, I have never particularly struggled with women, I have just never been one to try cold approaches like this. I'm trying to get more comfortable doing cold approach because if I can be comfortable in those kinds of situations, it stands to reason no social interaction would intimidate me.
I believe she gave me classic IOIs. She smiles at me more than she smiles at most people. I make her laugh somewhat easily. And she holds strong eye contact when we're chatting. She works at my gym, but her job doesn't require her to be overly nice to patrons hence why I believe what I interpreted to be IOIs were genuine.
The scenario:
We were talking about how her weekend was and I asked her about a big sporting event I assumed she watched. From there, I asked her if she played that sport in high school. When she said yes, I said something along the lines of "I can tell" then asked what position she played. I bantered with her about how her answer surprised me. I used this as a launching off point to establish premise/intention. In short I said, I figured you would've been "X" because you have "this kind of warmth, inviting, happy-go-luckyness to you". A little more banter, and finally I cut to the chase. I ask if she likes coffee, and she doesn't really give a really straight answer to it so I just go ahead and say "If I asked you to get coffee with me, would you say yes?". Her response: "Probabblyyyyyy... no". I kinda left it at that and said "ok, catch you later" and kept doing what I was doing. A couple minutes later, I was back to casually pointing out funny things to her just to break the tension from that awkward situation and show that I wasn't really affected by it.
So, how could I have played this different? Should I have pressed on the "probably no"? I thought about something along the lines of "how can I turn that probably no into a maybe yes" but that sounded corny in my head. Should I have approached how I invited her differently? Did I need to bridge the gap better between bantering about the sport and asking her out? Was the "probably no" an example of a shit test? Did I play the post "soft" rejection well?
Like I said, I'm new to this game, so any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated!
P.S: I kept the story intentionally vague for identify protection :)
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