Setting a sexual frame from the outset

Aristox · 2018-01-17T02:40:25+00:00

There was a great analysis video i watched of the absolute master Russell Brand on a TV show.

He was being extremely sexual, flirting with everyone, touching people. Doing all sorts of stuff that would seem rude if most people did it.

But the video author's point was that, because he had this reputation of being a massive flirt, it didn't seem so extreme when he did it. Cause it comes across as authentic and innocent- he's just being Russell Brand- and he also has a reputation for respecting women and being very kind etc, so that gives him more liscence.

The hosts on the TV show actually responded by being more sexually forward and flirting themselves- because he had, by the combo of his forwardness, safety, and confidence, created an atmosphere that says "It's okay to be sexual"

So I would say, be sexual, but be it in a totally casual way that normalises sex talk. And make it clear that you're sexual in a way that isn't just "lusty creep"

Try talking casually about girls you've had sex with, like "Oh ive got this cool anecdote: so me and this girl were having sex at mine right... bla bla bla" ; or "Wow it's a shame how bad the sex ed still is in schools in our country. Here's what id do differently..." etc etc. You're setting up the frame that it's totally normal to talk about sex. And so that makes it easier to do, because it seems like less of a transgression of social boundaries. Which makes it less intimidating when you do it, and easier for her to do it too.

Owning it with confidence is vital tho. You don't wanna appear like you're trying to force talking about sex. You do want to appear like talking about sex is a totally common thing for you to do, cause you're just naturally a very sexual person. So if she's like "You sure talk about sex a lot" you gotta respond with like "Yeah of course I'm flirting and talking about sex. Sex is normal and healthy dude, what are you like a time traveler from the Victorian times or something lol?" Establish and defend your frame as the normal one, and make it appear weird to be being more conservative about sex.

If you can establish that framing as normative, then it will be safe, because she knows what to expect from you. Creepyness is a result of being unsure what to expect from someone and unsure that you'll be able to deal with it if it doesn't go how you want.

By making clear what she can expect, and also establishing yourself as respectful and trustworthy and caring, she'll know she can be comfortable in the more sexual frame you've created.

And when you've established yourself in her eyes as someone who is casually and naturally sexual, then it wont seem as intimidating a thing when you tell her she looks sexy, or when you directly flirt. She'll see that as a natural and expected expression of your personality, rather than just something you've just switched on, which is the case if you aren't very sexual usually and then suddenly when you're on a date start trying to be all touchy or whatever.

Title	Setting a sexual frame from the outset
Author	NACHTK1113R
Upvotes	4
Comments	1
Date	January 17, 2018 12:56 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7qx7dc/setting_a_sexual_frame_from_the_outset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/setting-a-sexual-frame-from-the-outset.1440195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440195

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