Setting boundaries in an upfront, calm, centered manner is extremely attractive. It demonstrates strength, self-respect, and lets the other person know that you are authentic. It puts them at ease because it’s a sign that you’re not putting on a false front.

Being rigid has the opposite effect. It demonstrates a lack of ability to adapt and be flexible. It also shows a lack of a sense of humor, or an unwillingness to seen others’ point of view while being confident in your own. It demonstrates insecurity.

  • Setting boundaries is being upfront and communicating important personal VALUES, and being vocal when others push you outside of those boundaries.

  • Being rigid is an unwillingness to go outside personal PREFERENCES occasionally, and try something that the other person may enjoy.

  • Setting boundaries is ensuring the person you are with demonstrates respect for you and your relationship. You communicate with strength and emotional centeredness that behavior such as malicious insults or inappropriate behavior with members of the opposite sex are not acceptable.

  • Being rigid is taking yourself too seriously, and being sensitive if light or playful teasing occurs. It’s also trying to control who your partner can/cannot maintain friendships with.

  • Setting boundaries involves upfront communication and a willingness to walk away and never look back if reasonably-stated, important boundaries are violated.

  • Being rigid is using passive aggressive behavior, insults, and intentional jealousy to control the other person. Using revenge tactics instead of following through with protecting your boundaries.