Do you also freeze, and go ultra self conscious inside your head not knowing what to say on a date or to ask someone on a date ?

Do you also run 200 scenarios i your mind before sending a text, saying something or reaching out ?

Do you spend hours daydreaming about a crush or a girl you never talked to?

Do you also see dating or talking to a girl as a scary dreaded thing ?

Do you also feel self critical, low self confidence, irrelevant on the dating pool, maybe broken in a way? Do you also feel weird when complimented and do not want to attract attention or talk about yourself?

Do you also spend hours looking for tips on internet and reddit, step by steps guides on how to approach a girl and win, and feel completely dissociated fron it somehow ?

Are you also very little experienced and worried no girl will accept you or like you, or feel satisfied by you ?

Do you also feel, no one is going to date you, marry you, or have sex with you ever? Did you also google how many inches to satisfy a lady and measuring yourself to find out if you were oke even you never were into the position to use it ?

Well hey there buddy, chances are we crossed the same pathway !

In my case, i had general social anxiety since young age, fear of embarrasment,

I would feel dread when invited to a party, a karaoke or a dancing event. And try all excuses to avoid it, even though my crush would be going there, or may be particularly when my crush is going there i don't want her to find out about my weakness.

Let me share my experience and maybe you can relate

I used to live by "i am this person and that is that, an introvert, i dont like clubbing, i dont like socializing, i dont like going out, i don't like loud music, i cannot dance i can not do skates or skateboarding or even biking "

Then one day a friend taught me how to bike, i was biking in 2 hours, this is what is called proof of concept.

That day my life paradigm shifted, what else could i be wrong about.

I decided to take on all self defining statements i had thought to be true and challenge them.

It started by the socializing, i started joining events and doing my best to make new friends, it was not an instantaneous process that immediately hit me like a 2hours session, instead it was a bit rough, scary, but also exciting and draining. I was doing the thing that i avoided for so many years and thought to be not part of my life.

Eventually, i started to like it, i even overdid it, obsessed about it and became a social animal. People thought i was the most extroverted person they met, I started to identify as an "extrovert"

To be clear, It was still uncomfortable, and i still felt self conscious, but i was now able to bare the discomfort and show up,

This was a big aha moment, that i can bare discomfort and still appreciate a moment. Damn !

The next thing in line was doing sports, again an Aha moment, i can do sports !

The more I started looking back, the more i found insecurities and the more i started seeking Aha moments.

During this process, i noticed my perception of myself and events changed.

I discovered i liked many things i never thought i would like, like dancing! And slowly i discovered i liked myself.

Eventually dating came to the list of things i was not comfortable with, but this time i had knowledge that i can do uncomfortable things, and that i can be a good company to people in general social settings.

I went to a date and i just said to myself, my goal is to have a nice experience, to enjoy a shared moment with someone else, regardless if we clicked or not.

During the date, i focused on doing things i liked and talking about topics i liked, i was upfront with my insecurities.

0% of my mind went into "how do i attract this person how do i convince this lady to like me or to undress and have sex with me"

No, my focus was, "how do i spend a nice time, and learn more about this person"

I was so proud at the end, i didn't even ask for a second date, i did not care what would happen next and if that person liked me or not.

We went on a second date and had fun times, she knew about all my lack of experience, and taught me basically everything.

I was so shocked this happened to me i could not believe it, this was the antithesis of what i believed to be my personal truth.

Then again, i remembered i thought i could never bike...

The more i took on something new i was uncomfortable with, taking classes, the more i noticed myself worrying less, and feeling more confident.

If you read this and identified, If i did it, you can do too! Its not magic, its not instantaneous, its not all pink and great, This is just my experience and not a fit all formula, there is no fit all formula.

Beware of some traps as i fell into them, like dreaming and overthinking an ideal master plan, obsessing too much, taking it too seriously, or denying yourself from trying something new by putting conditions on it or just excuses. Putting too many goals...or the trap to get frustrated about results, and to be a bad loser.

Your biggest enemy is going to be your current self, the current voice inside is very smart, it will resist and fight back with all fire to stop you from changing anything to the statu quo. It sees change as a threat to itself, which is true. It will use all dirty tactics in the book to make you slip up, or guilt trip you or make you spiral after disappointment.

This means going on this journey with the right mindset is of utmost importance, No, strike that off, actually now i think back again, the mindset is also developed and discovered during the journey, it kind of is the biggest take away of the journey

It's a process of self discovery, and discovery of the world,

Cheers and good luck on your journey !