This won't be usual "how i became awesome" post, i'm just having worse day i guess and wanted to vent a little bit. I remember when i first read "The Game" one quote hit me hard "It was then when i realised our parents and friends have failed us". It got me thinking and i came to conclusion that one that failed me the most was my father. I could never understand why my father turned out way he is, his parents and my grandparents are wonderful people. They are caring, loving, well-educated and they always made sure that their kids had everything they needed. I was never close with my parents, since i can remember they never had time for me even when they were at home there was always something more important. Since i was few years old my father never missed an occasion to tell me just how much of a dissapoitment i am to him. It could have been everything from not speaking one word properly to me not being able to bent my knees when he tried to teach me to ski. And it never was simple mockery, it was always tyrade how i am crap at everything i do, how i will never get anywhere in life and that i'm most likely not his son cause of reasons mentioned above. He never sat me down to teach me what it means to be a man, how to focus on now, what it means to have integrity, how to be confident or how to talk to girls. It was always constant bashing whenever he was in crappy mood, which was very often, and it kept going through elementary school, high school, until my mother divorced him when i was at university and we moved out. But hey what are phones for, right? I was always smart but considered lazy but truth is i was scared shitless to dissapoint everyone, i was battling my fear every fucking day. I wasn't usual AFC, i made some great friends in high school, one could say i was popular but it was mask to hide my terror. I often wonder where i could have been with my life, what i could have accomplished with my potential if it wasn't for my father. But since i found seddit i started to work hard to erase that fear that was planted and nurtured inside of me and finally regain control over my life at age 32. Sorry for long and pointless post but i wanted to thank you guys, each and one of you for being true father i never had