i've practiced pua skills for the last four years, i usually score three or four new girls for year (no ONS, brief relationships of three months more or less) and i recently stopped after a particulary hurtful break-up that made me questioning myself; i think it all boils down to self esteem and self respect. a lot of the pua techniques are manipulative (showing the girl that you can replace her any time, that you have a lot of preselection, neg (even if they are playful, they can affect the other part self esteem), not giving all of your time (if you want a healthy relationship bot parties have to compromise), maintaining an aura of mistery around yourself), and those techniques are really effective in ONS and short relationships, but they are the foundation of a not healthy LTR (in case you want an ltr, obviously). i probably used those techniques in a wrong way and with my girls i was probably too bold on preselection and so on, not calibrated if you want, but i found that instead of focusing on habits that you can use to manipulate the other person to do what you want, is better focusing on yourself. in the last year i discovered (through therapy) that i have self esteem issues, and that the "mask" that i put on when i meet a new partner falls down after a few months, when you can see the "real me" under the "pua" mask. i hope not, but i think that a lot of people in this subreddit behave in this way. the only way that you can have (again, if that's your goal) a good relationship is fixing yourself first, and yes, sports, books and dressing good can help, but the ultimate goal is having your life in order and work on your issues. i think that the "jerk" is good ad catching women because he doesn't seriously gives a shit, but.. can he sustain a relationship without being manipulative? and the nice guy, can he, without putting his needs on the backburner? i think the solution is a "middle" way: a man that knows himself, that has overcomed his limits, that knows what he can accept and what he can't and isn't afraid of expressing that. not in an "imperative" way, not like an order, just being able to draw boundaries and wanting the relationship to work (with commitment of both partners), always leading and secure but never "imposing". and a good self esteem and self image are essentially to this. what do you think?