Submissive Seduction?

__ManBeast__ · 2018-04-17T21:41:25+00:00

"I don't conquer, I submit" - Casanova

Game is considered dominant because social context and our upbringings tell us that men need to make the move, and women gatekeep. And when the guy makes the move he is dominant. So when he and the women get in bed together she expects him to continue being dominant because that's what she was attracted to in the first place. So asking if he can switch between dominant and submissive is a risky idea (women can get away with acting bitchy then being subs in bed because, again, that's the expected role for them. If a woman was super submissive in person then pulled out a strap-on in bed, I think most guys would be equally surprised)

So you're best course of action for him is to be congruent. To have his personality and his actions be aligned. Being a submissive guy, he should act that way. That might be difficult in a seduction strategy, since he'll still need to initiate conversation and push the interaction, which are inherently dominant things. So I'd recommend being flirtatious, being very sexual, and instead of passing shit tests through confidence and arrogance, passing them with charm and sexual tension. That way he's still commanding the interaction, but not coming off as dominant, just very sexual. Then once the girl is hooked on his charm, he can imply he is more submissive and gauge her reaction (things like jokes about tying him up or spanking him, with enough humor that he has plausible deniability, but also enough sexual energy that she can agree to do it with him).

Now even reading this myself I understand it can be hard to visualize, so instead of a book or reading, I'd highly recommend watching anything with Russell Brand. He's a British comedian known for seducing women and being very charming, but he never comes across as dominant or aggressive. He's the exact type of person I'd imagine could pull girls daily and be submissive in bed with them.

Coffeeupthebutt · 2018-04-17T20:00:27+00:00

That’s a niche(as far as I know) kink of his so the majority of girls are probably not gonna be into it. Best bet would probably be online on some fetish meet-up sites? Or just approach every girl and tell them that’s what your into and he will eventually find one

luckyloo2 · 2018-04-17T22:39:19+00:00

Do you think he means "submissive" in a kink way, or just submissive in that he wants the woman to make the first move and he isn't really into telling her what to do in the bedroom?

These are two very different things.

My husband is submissive (in that he doesn't want to tell me what to do in the bedroom and 95% of our marriage I have always initiated). Honestly, when he tells me that he has tried to initiate I never pick up on it. He's just so subtle.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with a man being submissive sexually in a relationship, but he has to be aware it is going to attract a somewhat aggressive woman (which, I admittedly am). Aggressive often goes with bitchy (but not always), so he needs to understand that.

Also, he probably will have better luck being a friend or acquaintance first and then making his move by simply holding her hand or kissing her goodnight on the cheek. Women looking for a one night stand do prefer a more aggressive man simply because it's easier and most women have found themselves playing the submissive role, so it's more comfortable. That doesn't mean he won't find someone who can be ladylike on the street and more aggressive in the sack, but it will take time and getting to know her.

I actually found this site hoping to get some advice on how to better seduce my husband. He doesn't like me to be too obvious or aggressive, but also doesn't like me to be timid or wait for him to initiate. It can get exhausting to play these mind games but that is what he's into. For him it's a deep, spiritual act, so if he's not feeling it mentally he can't get into it. I'm very physical and like a quickie on occasion. It could be that your friend also has difficulty trying to pursue a woman with whom he doesn't have a lot of connection mentally.

Just some thoughts from a woman who has been married to a submissive man for 10 years. Tell him not to give up hope, but he can't pretend to be dominant. He has to work the "best friend, I respect you, tell me all your dreams, I'm sensitive and kind" approach.

That being said, I do sometimes miss a man who will just pick me up, throw me on the bed, and have his way with me. But, that's not in the cards for me and I'm learning to accept that. Ideally your friend will find a middle ground with more experience.

Title	Submissive Seduction?
Author	roaphaen
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	April 17, 2018 6:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8cyltv/submissive_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/submissive-seduction.1445019 https://theredarchive.com/post/1445019

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