Before I start I should explain that I've had a keen interest in PUA for quite some time. I've read nearly everything that's available, watched countless hours of seminars and listen to days worth of PUA podcasts.

In theory I could tell you how to approach, seduce and bed a women. From an outsiders prospective I can spot where friends had gone wrong and advise them what they could have done differently.

Alas, it's all lost when I myself try put it into practice. My only success I've had is when women have in fact seduced me, problem being that this happens once in a blue moon. It's obvious that I need to take pro-active steps in seducing women of my choosing instead of simply accepting the advances of whomever takes a fancy to me. Which without sounding shallow, tend to provoke little emotion on my behalf. Ending up with me settling, which isn't fair on either myself or them.

So I decided to man up and I went out with a positive mindset to a student bar. I asked a friend in passing to introduce me to a female acquaintance of his. Who in my opinion was beautiful, a perfect 10 even. He happily obliged. It just so happened that the night I went out he followed through with my request and introduced me to her.

It was here that I completely fell apart and had what I can only describe as a full blown panic attack. I've never felt such excruciating terror, I felt as if a heart attack was imminent and stuttered out some incoherent babble in front of her. Ive never felt the need to get out of a situation more in my life. I excused myself in what was a less than perfect manner and went home to reflect on what was one of the most confidence destroying moments of my life.

What's particularly strange is that I have relatively little fear in other social situations such as job interviews, parties and I've even successfully used social engineering to gain access to a celebrities dressing room in order to conduct an interview with ease. Although my adventures in the field cold approaching groups of women have never yielded amazing results, I've never broken down in such a manner as I did on that night.

It was obvious that after that episode there was something significantly wrong with me in which i consulted a doctor and have been prescribed anti-depressants. Therapy is out of the question since I'm unable to afford it and have no other place to turn for free counseling. So I've turned to you seddit, now what?

How do I overcome my fear of beauty? I'm petrified of women I'm attracted too. Am I destined to simply attract those who's affection I can't return for the simple fact I'm not attracted to them? I cannot overcome this hurdle and I fear that there's no answer, essentially cutting myself off from the opposite sex and leaving me alone for life.