suffering from really low self esteem - will appreciate help

allex8800 · 2014-01-17T12:34:47+00:00

This is a tough situation, and before anyone else gets on you for "excuses" I fully acknowledge that you are at a natural disadvantage being Indian when it comes to white women.

I'll tell you the simple, hard to understand answer first: you just have to stop giving a shit.

It's so easy once you get it, the question is how do you get there?

Do a Google search for a website called Demonic Confidence. I've had friends do it and when they're finished its like a total transformation.

The other thing you can do is give yourself little daily challenges that push you out of your comfort zone. Build up to where you are actively trying to get rejected, and it doesn't bother you.

Even being Indian, I would suggest using Buddhist principles like non-attachment and no mind, just to separate yourself from your feelings and thoughts and realizing they aren't that important.

And, to me, what's most important is to approach it all with a sense of humor. You'll be amazed at how meaningless rejection feels once you turn it into a joke you tell your friends. It's empowering to take your failures and turn them into a good, funny moment you can enjoy, rather than fear.

After that, you'll overcome your natural limitations by approaching more women, and seeing that since you do it with confidence they'll react better, which will only add to your already growing self-esteem.

fffshz · 2014-01-17T14:46:19+00:00

Stay with Indian women....but all women like confident, well groomed men, all the same. You didn't mention if you are from AUS or not?

If you are, I'd say you have a chance with white women, but don't make that your holy grail....

My exp is that women do not like men who are not confident, or easy to talk to....so you need to change your attitude first....a wee bit of arrogance wouldn't hurt....need to develop some attitude.

And lower your expectations....you won't always be able to get a number, or what have you the first time you meet a chick....

And think you def need to get out a bit more...how can you have game if you live with an ex?

You have $? You mention you are 33....a nice enough car wouldn't hurt....chicks notice this stuff...doesn't have to be a gold digger to want a guy who is successful...

Shubrook · 2014-01-17T15:41:30+00:00

It sounds like you have multiple problems that are tangling themselves up and making it hard to sort out any one of them by itself. Keep in mind that I don't know you. All I know is what you've written here, and some basics about some Indian culture from my Indian friends. Feel free to take what you like and leave the rest (or take nothing at all):

1) Two months is not a very long time to learn how to do something well. Even if you do it every weekend, it is entirely possible you're just doing it wrong. I know you are feeling discouraged, but, uhh... don't. Imagine you're going through a second puberty. It's gonna be hell. It's gonna take years, but you need to go through it to live a complete life. This is an undertaking that will take years.

2) So, you love this Indian girl, but she wont have sex with you. I'm assuming she wants you to marry her. Do you want to do that? What are you going to do about it?

3) Which culture is yours? There are a lot of things bundled up in some Indian cultures that, frankly, Indians need to ditch. That doesn't mean you have to stop being Indian - there is lots of cool stuff there too. It's funny - America's sexual revolution took a lot of inspiration from India - the Beatles spent a lot of time there, but it seems like India is in dire need of its own sexual revolution.

3.5) Do you have any white, male friends? Indians where I am (New England, America) tend to be a pretty insular bunch. It will help you transition from being an Indian in Australia to an Indian Australian.

4) Are you still living with your F buddy from four years ago? While you're courting the traditional Indian girl and you're trying to get laid? That is a recipe for blue balls and a broken heart.

5) How is your inner game? What do you do for fun? You have a decent job, but are you living a life that attracts women? What are your hobbies? If you were a millionaire, elbow deep in pussy 24/7, what would you spend your time doing? You should be doing that already. You should also be doing yoga, because you could probably talk for hours about the philosophy behind it, and even if you cant, girls will think you can, so you can say whatever bullshit you want and they will think you're soooo spiritual.

6) How is your outer game? Have you done your reading? That stuff is important, especially when you're 'catching up with the naturals'.

6.5) Sometimes I've been a bit envious of traditional Indian culture, where men can just focus on their career and trust their parents to find love for them. As a consequence, you fellas might be even worse at talking to girls than white boys. If you were raised in that indian mindset of 'sort out your career and someone else will handle the rest' and nobody actually handled the rest, you have a large gap in your education that you need to fill.

7) Travelling might be a good way to clear your head. I spent about 6 months in Thailand while I was in college. I've had sex with Thai girls in Thailand (and it was awesome). Don't get prostitutes. It will mess with your head really bad. You need to sort out that whole 'women' thing, and you need to sort out that whole 'sex' thing. Women who trade sex for money won't help you do that.

It seems to me like you're on the edge of a metamorphasis. Two years from now, UtopianAura will be a much better version of himself. Make the most of this change: Acknowledge that you are about to start a period of growth and come up with a plan on how to grow as much as you can grow.

nugsnotdrugs91 · 2014-01-18T08:23:31+00:00

Get out of your head.

I'm Indian myself. I used to feel similar feelings after moving to a predominantly white town after leaving my more diverse hometown. I realized that instead of waiting for attention to come to me, I had to draw attention to myself. After I started doing that I noticed an immediate polarization in people's attitudes towards me. Once they knew I was more than the random Indian guy, they knew how to feel about me. Some love me, and some hate me. But at least I know who my friends are now.

Title	suffering from really low self esteem - will appreciate help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	January 17, 2014 11:39 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vfv8h/suffering_from_really_low_self_esteem_will/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/suffering-from-really-low-self-esteem-will.1364600 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364600

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