I went out last night. I hesitated a lot, but finally did one approach. She immediately said she had a boyfriend, so the set didn’t last long, but I felt pretty energized afterwards. Many people on this subreddit report feeling similar after the first approach they do. I felt like I was the owner of the bar at that point, I felt that I could talk to anybody.

So then, I saw a girl with another girl and a guy. She was cute. Usually I’m somewhat intimidated by groups, but I went and approached anyway. She looked friendly and her friends didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. (Come to think of it, almost no person I’ve gotten to know in real life is actually that intimidating, especially no girl I’ve gotten to know.) When I approached her, she seemed pretty happy. Her friends kind of turned away and had their own conversation. I talked to the girl for a while and her friends walked away. Then I led her to another part of the bar, because our spot was crowded. We talked a lot and I touched her hand a little, but she seemed pretty neutral about that. I talked some more and then she said she was going back to her friends, so I got her number and we hugged. Today she’s been texting me, so I’ve been setting up a date.

I think the first approach really helps your mindset when you’re out. Our minds like comfort and we resist change, so we come up with excuses. We say “There’s no girls to approach here” or “She’s with a guy, I can’t approach her” or “I need to get buff and make money before I can start going out.” I like to treat those ideas like they’re coming from a different person, and ignore them. Then I can stay focused on what I really came to do, approach girls. After the first approach, I found for me a lot of excuses stop coming up from my mind. If they do come up, I don’t take them seriously.