When people tell you that you are being "too nice" with girls you like as the reason you get friendzoned. It doesn't mean you have to be an evil guy who cheats on her or insults her or mistreats her or anything like that.

Being "Too nice" means that you prioritize creating comfort between you and her , rather than creating tension here and there.

For example, you don't try to mess with her in any way, you don't disagree with her, you make sure not to upset her, or make her uncomfortable in any way ever out of fear of rejection mostly,

It's the type of attitude where you prioritize seeking her approval and do whatever she orders you to do as if you were her obedient puppy dog and she was your master who has authority over you and whose approval you have to win over if you want a cookie from her.

This is a role you assign her consciously or unconsciously because you make the wrong assumption that you have to win her over, and that to win her over you have to do what she says, adapt to her expectations of what she wants a man to be like, and basically trying to score points so that she as a judge decides if you are good enough for her.

It's basically mirroring the dynamic you have with your mother, where you start treating her too as if she is your mother...

As in, if you want a reward you do what mummy tells you, whereas if you don't do what mummy tells you, then you get punished (rejected).

You mistakenly treat girls you like with a very similar mindset.

You feel that in order to get "love", a girlfriend", you have to do what the girl you like wants and make sure she approves of you, whereas if you don't do what the girl you like wants or if you upset her, then you feel you won't get the love or get a girlfriend.

The problem is that this mindset is simply wrong. This approval-seeking behavior destroys your authenticity, destroys attraction and basically makes you a puppet she can control and positions her on a pedestal because you are treating her as if she is your superior.

Your flawed sense of logic thinks it makes sense to do what a girl says she wants or likes from a man, because you have learned from a young age that: "pleasing others = reward" and "not pleasing others = punishment".

The problem is when it comes to picking up girls it doesn't work like that at all, it's more like: "pleasing her = friendzone", "refusing to please her= attraction".

When i say "not pleasing her", i mean that when she sets a standard of what she wants from a man, you don't try to say "hey that's me, i can be that type of man". It means that you don't give a fuck if she wants that, and you are not gonna try to be that at all no matter how much you like her and no matter how much she wants that from a man.

It's a take it or leave it type of attitude. You are who you are and if she wants something else from a man that you don't have, that's not your problem. You are your own product and won't feel inferior or apologize for being your unique product.,

You won't even try to convince her that your product is superior to the one she wants or try to impress her, because the worth of your product is self-evident. This doesn't mean you give up talking to her just because her type is different.

It means that despite her type being different you keep acting like yourself and flirting with her because you want to and feel entitled to flirt because that's your right simply because you dictate you have the right to flirt with whoever the fuck you want no matter what preferences that person has.

You simply play by your own rules, you don't apologize ever for playing by your own rules and refusing to adopt her rules, and you do what you want, not what you think she wants, or what she wants you to do. And when she criticizes about what you do, you double down, you reaffirm yourself and refuse to change your ways for her.

You see how this attitude is not as "nice"? You are simply being yourself and refusing to play by her rules or standards, and that's what makes you "not nice". It has nothing to do with being an asshole, it has to do with you having a backbone and an "i don't give a fuck what you think about me" vibe.

This vibe isn't meant to be "angry" or "upset" or "provocative" or "confrontational"... The vibe is supposed to be calm, playful and collected, but still firm and assertive.

Because you know who you are, you know your worth and that her standards or type don't matter because you know that you are the dish she didn't she wanted until she tried it and if she doesn't want a taste, it's her loss because honey wasn’t made for a donkey’s mouth.

As someone wise once said: "Do not throw your pearls before swine."

That's how you stop being a mister nice guy and instead become a guy who is real and who doesn't exist to please or displease others.

You are simply being you without apologizing for it and refusing to adapt to the woman's preferences, refusing to prove you'd do whatever she wants and stop being so worried about her well-being and comfort level that you become spineless, risk-averse, and a doormat.

You prioritize being you and if that indirectly upsets her so be it. You prioritize that over being nice and having her think well of you at the cost of your own authenticity and desires and needs.

And when you that, that creates a tension that is far more attractive than the comfort created when you are just a nice guy who would never want the girl he likes to think badly of him.

Because attraction thrives in tension, not in comfort. You can see how this vibe works in stories that have the trope "enemies to lovers". That's far more hot for most young women than the trope of "best friends to lovers".