The REAL problem is not getting the number...

SinSlayer · 2013-01-08T17:43:05+00:00

First and foremost: Avoid social media as a means of escalation and seduction. Look, I get that social media is here to stay, and that for the younger generation, it's a staple of social interaction, but really, it's more of a social crutch. How do you think people met and hook'd-up in the over 2000 years BEFORE social media came along. They actually met OUTSIDE the house, away from the office and computers, and spent time together; and know what?; shit worked or else none of us would be here right now.

You meet a cute girl/guy, get their contact info, including facebook, and make the initial connection with them that way? Fine. But when it comes to actually getting to know them and trying to make plans; stick to the basics: make a phone call! Talk to them and let them hear you're voice. The subtle inflections and tones, the innuendos and sarcastic jokes, the flirting and the banter. I can do wonders with my voice that I can't do via text or email or IM.

And when it comes to asking a girl out, there's two rules to follow:

1) Make plans and invite her to join you! It's the difference between "Hey, Lisa; would you like to go out Saturday night?" and "Hey, Lisa, I'm going to go check out this Indie band at this great bar on Saturday night. You should come. First round's on me!"

This lets her know that A) your life isn't going to revolve around her and her schedule, and B) you're inviting her to be a part of you world, not asking if you can be a part of hers.

2) There's a difference between asking a girl to go out with you and making a girl WANT to go out with you. This is key to avoiding the flakes. If someone has agreed to go out with you, but isn't invested mentally or emotionally, the chances of them flaking are exponentially higher than someone who WANTS to go out with you.

"How do you make a girl WANT to go out with you?" you ask? Well, a lot of it has to do with showing her how interesting and awesome you are, peaking her curiosity, getting her mental, emotional, and physical juices flowing. The other part is using the mental, verbal, and physical cues she gives you to offer her something she's going to want to be a part of. If she's mentions she's into art you can say something like "I'm going to the opening of an art gallery tomorrow night. I know you mentioned you're an artist. Wanna be my plus one?" If she's into fitness and sports: "There's this indoor rock climbing facility I'm going to check out Sunday afternoon. If you're not busy, you can race me to the top." If she's into a certain type of food, you can tell her about the new Sushi place you've been dying to try, or the new Italian restaurant, or that Steakhouse everyone keeps telling you about. Offer her something she WANTS to be a part of; not just time with you, but a great experience that includes getting to know one another better.

Finally, most PUA's will tell you it's a numbers game, and that if you approach and #close 10 girls on Monday, you'll probably only get one or two confirmed dates by the weekend. BULLSHIT!! If I meet ten girls on Sunday, I will have had AT LEAST NINE dates by the end of the week. All it takes it time to get to know what each girl is into and making the effort to make her WANT to spend time with you. Don't get me wrong, there will ALWAYS be flakes, but learning how to do the two things I offered well will help eliminate those people from your life, and when you do run across the occasional flake, FUCK EM!! Don't waste your time trying to figure out what you did wrong or what you can do to turn it around. Live your life and enjoy doing things you enjoy, either alone or find someone else who does WANT to spend time with you to share the adventure!

Hope this helps.

puaCurveBall · 2013-01-08T18:55:37+00:00

Girls don't flake on high value attractive guys. Period.

Trust me, nearly every girl out there is complaining she can't find awesome guys, even the HB10.

The problem is that you aren't presenting yourself as that high value male, and so she feels she can dick around with you as a second choice option / flaking.

IAMTHEDEATHMACHINE · 2013-01-08T17:27:46+00:00

If you think girls are flaking on you because some other dude is spitting sick Facebook game, you're wrong.

As for how to deal with it: Don't be a beta male who relies on Facebook. Talk to them in person, flirt in person, make them attracted to you in person. Feel free to use Facebook to augment that, if you want, but keep in mind that successful people do flirt directly.

To deal with flaky girls, build more attraction in person. When you're flirting with her, set up a date and then get her number.

puntingbaxter · 2013-01-08T17:30:58+00:00

I think you already know the answer of how to deal with flakes.

The question is, why do you let your ego effect you so much. Rejection/failure is supposed to build you up, not tear you down.

logicalmisologist · 2013-01-09T01:01:28+00:00

I just deleted my facebook account two days ago. I found that I was spending too much time looking at other people's profiles and not enough time interacting with them in the real world. This is my method for forcing myself to get back to Real Life.

Facebook is an easy way of avoiding the uncomfortable moments of live interaction, but it is ultimately unfulfilling.

Title	The REAL problem is not getting the number...
Author	silentedge92
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	January 8, 2013 5:15 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/166x2g/the_real_problem_is_not_getting_the_number/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-real-problem-is-not-getting-the-number.1345514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1345514

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