I'm 30. I've only had one woman in my life. She was fat and ugly and promiscuous and she threw herself at me. When we got to her place, I had trouble getting it up. Not because I was so nervous, but because I wasn't attracted to her. She had several orgasms, but I couldn't finish because I thought she was disgusting. It was just dumb luck (or bad luck however you see it). That was many many years ago.

The facts: I'm ugly. Like 0/10 ugly. I'm a minority; I'm short, too, bald, small shoulders and to top it off, I have a small dick (3-4 inches). How do you even date with a small dick? The vast majority of women won't accept it. Period. As I got older I went from horny as fuck and jerking off four times a day to maybe masturbating once a month. I no longer have morning erections, my orgasms are weak. I've suffered from clinical depression ever since I could remember. I have no friends and absolutely nothing going on in my life. I go to the gym but my genes don't allow me to build much muscle.

I've been out countless times after studying the game and I was rejected every time. Most rejections weren't nice either: when I wasn't ignored, I was ridiculed. I got a couple of phone numbers here and there but it never went anywhere.

Let me make something clear: I don't live in the US. I live in a area/city/country with little to no diversity and where most women are 5'10 or taller and most men hover at around 6'3-6'4. There isn't much of a dating culture like in North America; most folks simply draw from their existing social network to find potential mates. Almost everyone is in a long-term relationship by a certain age. For 80% of the population, partying and fucking around is pretty much over once they're past their early to mid twenties. Also, people aren't exactly approachable to up to chit chat like they are in the states. Most women my age want to settle down (and do it fast) when I'm just trying to begin my fucking life. And it's not socially acceptable for a guy like me to even a date woman that's 20. It's unthinkable to even look at a woman under 25.

When watching guys pick up girls on YouTube, I feel like they're just selling bullshit. None of the guys are in a situation close to mine and consequently don't have the same problems as me. Besides, all of them do it in a place like Venice or Miami, where there's tons of diversity and people are open to talk to strangers. I've traveled a bit (incl. to the US) and I've noticed people are just much warmer and more accepting overall in North America; I was treated much more nicely in the US than in my home country. Unfortunately, relocating to another city/country isn't an option.

While I understand the logic behind the game and the red pill, none of that stuff works for me. I'm literally the bottom of the bottom. I don't know what else there is to say. So what is there left to do?