I'm an overthinker. For those who follow MBTI, I'd be an INTP-T. This means that my approach anxiety was fucking astronomical and imo probably on the higher end of the scale compared to most people. So hopefully, for some of you guys who find this more difficult, this will be at least somewhat helpful to push you.

(1) Re-framing: As soon as you see the chick, imagine that if you move your feet backwards or any direction away from her, you're walking towards your next 5 years being wasted and you remaining a coward and loser who hates himself for not taking risks, and as you walk towards her, imagine that you're walking towards the you in 5 years who is successful with women and who can push himself and succeed in life. It's basically re-framing the stress of approaching as excitement, and not approaching as negative feelings because it'll end up in hell for you long term. There's a youtube video called "approach anxiety meditation to overcome fear of approaching women", and if you skip to the start of it, it's only about 6 minutes long and you listen to it every day. It helps you reframe the approach mentally.

(2) Just move your feet: It doesn't matter if your eyes are watery and throat is hoarse. Fuck it. You can't do much about that in the moment. Just get those first few dozen approaches in so that you can start getting used to those feelings. Approaching anxiety won't go away, but at least you'll have a bunch of references experiences built up.

(3) Record your approaches: not video, because that's where other issues come in. Just audio. Get a cheap mic and go through your tonality and pace so that you can work on it. Having yourself recorded adds a bit of motivation because then you could document your progress for yourself and see the improvements long-term.

(3) When to approach: if you're doing day game, DON'T APPROACH if it's getting dark. It will just make you more stressed out and kill the vibe. Depending where you're at it's best to approach from 8am-5pm. If you're in a hot place, then you could probably push that to 7pm, especially on a Friday.

For night game, you're better off approaching inside or right outside of the venue. Some guys approach across the street at night but honestly, it's pretty sketch, and if you've seen simple pickup do it, it's fucking brutal. You need to consider the emotional and mental state of the person you're approach. This doesn't mean not to approach because you're "bothering them" either. If salesmen had that mentality, they'd be out of business. It just means to do it in the most socially calibrated way.

You can also approach in any place you go to (ex. grocery store), but assuming you have approach anxiety, you're better off finding a specific venue and having a process. There's a reason you haven't done any or many approaches yet.

(4) When to stop: If you went to your chosen venue and haven't approached within the first 20-30 minutes, call it a night. The rest of your night will likely be wasted because you've already been mentally defeated. You need to take advantage of the fresh start you have, where you mental rationalisations haven't kicked in yet to push away negative feelings. Think of it as when you're working on something. Once you get the ball rolling, you build momentum. If you take a "break", that's it. You're in procrastination mode and the task became 10x more difficult.

The only exception to this is night game. If you're with friends and having fun, then you're already there, and likely getting some IOIs, so in that case, it's fair to jump back into it. But if you're "mentally defeated" already, just focus on having fun.

(5) It's not the three second rule. It's the ten second rule: the girl isn't always going to be 3 seconds away from you. Give yourself 10 seconds to get there. Count down from 10. If you're not there by zero, give yourself a pre-planned punishment (ex. you need to run 5km).

(6) If you pass by her or you guys make eye contact and you didn't use the ten second rule, don't look at her or approach her again: it's already game over for that girl. Going back to her shows that it wasn't natural and that you were thinking about how to do it. That IS actually genuinely creepy and stalker-ish. It's like if a salesmen walks past you, and then you walk off, and then they follow you and approach you. It's like wtf. And when you see their reaction, you'll want to stop approaching, when in reality, you're just lacking in awareness of your approach.

(6) When you're there, don't make it your goal to perform. Make it your goal to stay planted: at times I'll open, and then when I'm in a set I'm like "fuck fuck fuck abort" so I'll speed up my tonality and excuse myself. I noticed that just focusing on not leaving is enough to settle in, stay grounded, and focus on the discussion once nerves settle in. You'll "perform" once you realise you're stuck anyways, and you get better with experience.

(7) Always assume attraction: Approaching showed a lot of insecurities that I had. As soon as I'd find someone to approach I'd think "fuck, they're definitely better than me" or "fuck, they're definitely going to think I'm a creep" so I'd abort. And maybe they do, but who gives a fuck. That doesn't mean that I have to think of myself as lesser than the other person. This also leads to the next point.

(8) Before approaching, work on your voice projection and put on eye drops: This might just be me, but my shyness and approach anxiety is so bad that I get fight or flight a lot of the time. In order to over-power the weakness in my voice and close-to-bloodshot eyes, I had to make counter-measures. Every morning I do vocal exercises to relax and increase depth to my voice, I record my voice and listen to make sure that I'm speaking loud enough, and I put on eye drops. That way, I'm always ready for any situation. THIS ALSO APPLIES FOR ANY OTHER SOCIAL ANXIETY. Now, I can approach people who are "higher status" and "intimidating" without being worried of displaying those inner problems outwardly. In turn, those inner problems begin to slowly disperse because I'm proving my thoughts wrong.

(9) Go indirect to direct. You can't really go wrong with this: The indirect disarms them, and going to the direct, it shows authenticity. You're catching them off guard and taking them emotionally by storm. It's not that deep, but it illustrates the point. For example, something as simple as "Excuse me, do you know where I can find Starbucks?" (indirect) to "Just kidding, I just thought you looked interesting" (direct). By using "interesting", for those with #metoo fears, you're basically set because nothing can be flipped on you.