Hello.

I’m a freshman in university studying Computer Science (not a nerd, I promise), and so far, things are going pretty great—academically and socially. But let’s get into it a bit more because, like everyone else, I’ve got some thoughts, struggles, and, honestly, some questions.

Here’s the thing: I’m a social guy. Among my friends, I’m the one who always starts conversations. They joke that I’m the kind of person social anxiety runs away from. I’m friends with practically everyone in my class and pretty much anyone I meet at clubs, events, or even random political meetups. I’m that guy who says yes to everything—parties, hangouts, you name it.

And yeah, there are girls I’m into. A couple of them, actually. I want to take things to the next level (yes, I mean getting laid), but for some reason, it’s not happening the way I want. I keep getting in my own head about it, and it’s frustrating. Here’s what’s been tripping me up:

  1. My Experience Level

I’m not a virgin, but I’m also not one of those people with a crazy body count. My past experiences have all been with my exes—people I knew, trusted, and had time to build something with. The idea of hooking up with a stranger or even someone I’ve only known for a week feels... weird. I want to be chill about it, but this feels like new territory, and I don’t want to mess it up.

  1. Safety is Always on My Mind

Okay, real talk: staying safe is non-negotiable for me. The thought of unwanted pregnancies or STDs stresses me out more than I’d like to admit. I always have protection, but the fear of something going wrong is always in the back of my head, but I can’t just ignore it.

  1. The "You’ll Fail" Warning

Here’s the thing: people love to say that if you focus too much on “living the college experience” ( partying and hooking up), you’ll screw up your academics. My parents have drilled this into my head, and even though I know I’m balancing things fine so far, their words are still stuck in my brain. I’m scared of slipping up and proving them right.

  1. Confidence Issues are Real

I get more compliments from girls now than I ever did before. They say nice things about my personality, my looks, my vibe—whatever. And yet, I can’t seem to fully believe it. I don’t feel like I’m the best version of myself, and that thought kind of eats away at me. It’s hard to be confident when you’re not fully happy with what you see in the mirror.

  1. Making the First Move

Asking for what I want feels... complicated. I’ve noticed some girls are down to make the first move, but that honestly feels a little sketchy to me. It’s like, are they too forward, or am I overthinking it? Either way, I know I need to be the one to step up most of the time. The problem? I don’t always know how. Also, I’m not trying to lower my standards just to make something happen—that feels like setting myself up for regret.

  1. Dorm Life Drama

I live in a dorm with a super chill roommate. We’ve got a system: if one of us wants to bring someone over, we give each other space. But even with that plan, it’s not exactly the most comfortable setup. I keep worrying about getting caught, and the thought of being kicked out of the dorm is terrifying. The vibe isn’t ideal, and it definitely messes with my ability to relax.

So, yeah, that’s where I’m at. I’m trying to figure all this out without overthinking it (easier said than done). If you’ve got advice—whether it’s from your own experience or just something you think would help—hit me up. I’d appreciate it.

Thanks in advance!