I've been talking to a chick and I realize when I maintain the too cool attitude, she reciprocates and loses interest

I've been so focused on maintaining frame that I've neglected her "feelings"

In other words, back to basics, it's not how cool you are but how she FEELS around you

It's always about her feelings. It's not about your aloofness. Yes, being cool and aloof will draw her in initially, but when the conversation happens there needs to be a pivot to catering to her feelings. Giggling, joking, smiling, you need to make room for that.

She must feel safe with you. She must feel validated and heard. Yeah, she may get cocky and shit test you but then you recalibrate.

She doesn't want a terminator robot. She wants to feel good around you. It's not about your image. It's about her feelings toward you. Her feelings will paint your image in her mind. You can't control her through indifference. That attraction manifests on its own based on how good she feels in your presence.

In short, is not how cool you are but how strong her feelings are toward you.