Too often, people get hung up on the ‘right thing’ to say over text.

Although texting can build some excitement and tension, attraction is built in-person. Texting shouldn’t be over analyzed; when you think too much, you put too much pressure on things and it backfires.

  • The ability to be comfortable and be yourself completely should be paramount with anyone you date. If you have to constantly worry about texting the ‘correct’ thing to hold their interest, you are more likely to make the interaction stiff and rehearsed.

  • If someone flips a switch, or is hot and cold, they likely aren’t that interested, or are simply seeking attention. If someone is into you, they will want to see you. As long as you aren’t creepy or needy, what you say in text won’t be that important.

  • Use some restraint and relax. If their side of the conversation has a few sentences, and yours is filed with emotional paragraphs, you need to reel it in a bit. They’re likely overwhelmed.

  • Chill with the compliments. If you keep telling someone how attractive they are over text, you will come off as needy. I’m general, you don’t want to be over-effusive with compliments. It puts people on guard. Show them you’re interested instead by taking initiative planning the date and handling the details.

  • Getting to know each other on a superficial level is fine, but you want to get to know the other person on the date, rather than spill your guts over text. Texting isn’t the place to give innate details of your life or try to be overly witty. Charm them and let them get to know you in person.

  • A little bit of mystery is attractive. If you lay everything out over text when you just met, there isn’t as much anticipation.

  • If you met someone, don’t text them constantly throughout the day. You should be busy with your own life. Say Hi and chat briefly throughout the day, but otherwise give the person some space. You need it as well

TLDR: If someone likes you, what you text ultimately isn’t that important. Don’t overthink, be relaxed, get to know each other in person