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[–]Woujo 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
no
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
How do you build confidence then?
[–]ggGideon 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Be happy with who you are and comfortable being alone. If there are things you don't like about yourself, change them.
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I once changed many things I didn't like about me but it still wasn't enough.
Is there something additional to be done?
[–]ggGideon 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Self improvement isn't something you do once and then you're done with it. It's an everyday process. Continue to identify the things you like and dislike about yourself. Take pride in the things you like, change what you don't.
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Should I even take pride in things women consider "nerdy"? It seems like an instant loss.
But I get what you're saying. Thanks.
[–]ggGideon 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes. Be proud of who you are and what you enjoy. That doesn't mean bring it up all the time and brag about it. We should still be well rounded people but don't be ashamed because you like nerdy things.
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is something I'll try to implement. Thank you
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Confidence comes from being awesome and knowing youre awesome, not from gaining other peoples approval. Become awesome.
[–]Zweitaccount 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How do you become awesome? Or even OK?
Honest question.
[–]Overnight_Delivery 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
everyone has their own bar set. you know what you need to do to consider yourself awesome.
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What if the bar is too high. Like when you are never satisfied with what you are doing / did even when it's objectively good?
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then you're already awesome and begin being masochistic loving life on hard mode.
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's interesting, I will try that.
Not acknowledging my own past victories and deeds was always a reason for my low confidence.
But maybe this mindset suits me better.
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The things which restore my confidence are calling up a girl that likes me and cam girls. Cam girls are super sweet hearts, just start with telling them how you were rejected and they'll go straight to making you feel better, then ask you if you wanna f*
Group meditation, yoga and hip hop class also works but that is more like restoring momentum. I think a partnered dance could restore confidence like tango.
[–]Dsolgi 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Confidence can come from multiple ways my way was what i said i just really dont give a shit what people think your way is saying your awesome
[–]Dsolgi -5 points-4 points-3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I genuinly think you cant build confidence you either have or you dont its like looks.You can try and build on it by not giving a fuck but you cant really change yourself
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I really can't understand it. I've had girlfriends and like two or three flings already, friends tell me that I am funny and "polarizing" as they call it since I am a bit weird.
Obviously I have something on me that's attractive, I just can't see/acknowledge it. How do you do that?
I mean, obviously it's the reason why I'm going to therapy, but there has to be a way out of this.
[–]Dsolgi 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly I'm very confident and one of the reasons could be ADHD because i usually just say what's on my mind but i also just don't give a shit i dress confident walk confident speak confident and i do also go to the gym that helps a bit as well but my point is just don't give a fuck and girls love confident men and to be honest that's what makes me confident. Practice talking to strangers and try to get a girls number at least once or twice a week also girls sometimes wave at me and start talking to me even if i don't know them this also boosts my confidence you said you have had girlfriends and I'm guessing they were good looking clearly there's something about you that people like so just be confident.
Yes, I'd say my girlfriends were usually "out of my league".
Before I met my girlfriend I tried openly meeting women and got a few numbers, they were all flakes, though. Also not very many, so that's not representative guess.
I think maybe I'm too "weird" /nerdy for most women?
Thanks for your reply.
[–]Dsolgi 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If your nerdy or weird act up to it be the confident nerd or weirdo just keep trying to get numbers if you dont shoot you dont score simple as
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
youre wrong
[–]921ninja 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I completely disagree. I started attempting pickup(not expecting much out of it because I need to lose weight) just to gain confidence. It worked WONDERS.
[–]ShortTheBoushe 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Constant rejection eventually will generate the opposite effect, so my answer is no.
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Understandable.
So, how would you improve your confidence beforehand? Everyone starts somewhere I guess?
[–]Rojozeus 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hobbies, Working out, improving your self, Living your own life and doing the things you want instead of what you think other people want, Fake it till you make it.
[–]Zweitaccount 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Faking till you make it doesn't really work for me.
I'm faking confidence for years and all my friends were surprised when I told them how much social anxiety I have and how nervous I often am.
I still have low confidence although I'm faking it for a long time.
Improving yourself. What exactly does that mean?
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
seduction on pros - yes
seduction on regular women - no
What do you mean by pros?
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
$$$
Prostitutes?
I don't understand what you mean. Care to explain?
[–]human_bean_ 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's OK to be scared. It's OK to be a pussy. If that is what you want. I feel the whole confidence thing is just another trap for young players who see it as a golden ticket to success. So you don't have any confidence? So. Fucking. What. Do what you need to do despite it. Don't let it stop you. Just don't give a fuck about that noise.
But what is it what I need to do?
Having no confidence makes just about everything so much harder. I can fake it, but I'm almost never truly relaxed or think that other people (especially women) honestly appreciate my presence.
I would just like to know how it is to NOT have constantly such thoughts and if this or that woman finds me attractive.
[–]human_bean_ 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do what makes you happy. Do what scares you. Do what pushes your boundaries.
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[–]Woujo 4 points5 points6 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]ggGideon 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ggGideon 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ggGideon 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Overnight_Delivery 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dsolgi 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dsolgi -5 points-4 points-3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dsolgi 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dsolgi 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]921ninja 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShortTheBoushe 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rojozeus 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Overnight_Delivery 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]human_bean_ 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zweitaccount 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]human_bean_ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link