I'm socially disabled enough at this point, it seems almost akin to intellectual disability. I function very poorly, and I'm in my mid 30s. So 30+ years on this planet, much of it spent avoiding life as much as I possibly can, because of social anxiety, no way to tolerate group social situations, and nothing to say because of no life experience. I've nothing to be proud of, no accomplishments, no resume except for a few lines, essentially nothing to offer.

Otherwise I'm a guy with average looks, average height, thin, wickedly offbeat, has some artistic passions, but I don't think any of it counts. I believe I am still talentless anyway because I'm also inattentive, which means I can barely finish anything. In short, a crude way you could describe someone like me is, "Half his brain works; the other doesn't." It's developmental. My disability touches everything I do. I don't get noticed for it because I can speak and write well enough, that's the only reason.

But anyway, even if I'm disabled, I still have the same natural desires everyone else has... and that's definitely a bitch. I need to know what to do, short of payment "because I'm just crap to everyone else."

On top of all this, I have rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which hits even online. I also have severe envy of normal folks--especially of high achievers--which means dating sites are the worst place to be. 95% of the women there are high achievers and 110% of all, have standards which exclude me. And I'm not even looking for a serious relationship. Still, the way they decide I'm worth a response is--barring "hot looks" which I don't have--they look at money and education next, and I can't list that because I don't have them.

I hate getting rejected for bullshit reasons: I'm not looking to settle down and buy a house with someone, but because of some unspoken stereotype, they assume I should have the things "all serious 30+ men have" and no shit I fail--I can only play the hand I was given!

The only place it's even worth trying anymore is here on Reddit, in places where I can put up a personal. I've been here 2 years and average only FOUR unique replies from different women per year. I have asked for folks to take a look at my ads and tell me what I could do differently, but no one has offered any critique. It's a balancing act: I can't take the advice gurus would give, as in "sound like an experienced guy with exciting life, say nothing negative, don't say you're shy, don't say you're autistic, don't say you have trouble working"... because that's false. At the same time, I need a way to mention disability without turning everyone off.

I have to turn it around soon, otherwise I will lose my chance for life. I'm probably bout 99.9% of the way there already--to eternal "dateless/permavirgin territory"--I want that last 0.1% chance to get used before another year goes and I have to accept an entire life of never finding the warm embrace of a woman. I don't want that, and I'm not cheating my way to it by paying for some woman's education/rent/whatever they use it for.