So I was planning to go shopping for xmas presents for the family and what not, and of course every day I'm going out thinking, "I'm gonna go out and do some game" but alas, even asking a girl for the time was too damn much for me, felt like I was just stuck in a place in my damn head and it sucked donkey balls, so I quit, I put my earphones in and looked up a video on approach anxiety just so happened to be RSD's Julien on the matter. At this point it nearly becomes a religious epiphany. I have literally found myself with the thought of going into the city's cathedral (had been thinking about visiting for a while and not for religious reasons but, I find it’s a good way of finding some peace and quiet whilst staying public).

I sit down and just before I remove my earphones, I hear Julien saying "Stop being a little bitch" "You are too pussy to spread your seed" "Why the hell are you afraid of saying hi? Or asking for the fucking time" and then it hit me, much like a flash that said "just fucking approach congruenceislife". I was letting the fear get to me, the fear of losing my ego. How about fuck my ego? Why not just drop it for 10 fucking approaches, ask for the time or some directions and walk the fuck away, you talk some rich game so at least say something! The next girls I saw I just asked for directions for the nearest starbucks, and surprise surprise! I didn't die! ahahaha

Then out of nowhere I was able to compliment girls too which left them with sweet smiles on their faces, asked a group of girls on a set of makeup to buy for a xmas present and made them do some sort of weird vote for what I should buy, flirting with the damn shop assistant, saw the same girls shortly after and reopened! Thanking them for helping and I heard them say something and then the anxiety kicked in again "were they talking shit about me? They must think I'm weird" but a second passed and I was like, why wouldn't they? I'm fucking awesome, bit of a hardcase but I'm the damn shit!

And after that day I found myself opening 11 sets and interacting with each and every girl in them. I probably let some of these interactions go to waste, should have stayed in set for some of them at least, after all I felt a good vibe going on with maybe two or three, but this is what I can work on next! I think my next mission is to open directly and stay in an interaction as long as possible. At the very least use the highest risk openers possible, and get their names. The feeling of excitement has left me but I don’t feel tired or exhausted. I admit I’m okay when I’m out on the night, and after a drink, but this was stone cold sober and couldn’t be any prouder of destroying my chode-ling ego