So I went on a date tonight, and part of me doing this was to get over my lack of social skills and serious anxiety and discomfort around women. I've been on 5 or 6 dates in the past with most ending after a few meetups, but tonight's was especially awkward, it didn't go all that well and we didn't really connect. All of the old depressive thoughts started running through my head, how I'm so socially inept, unfunny, boring to talk to, etc. BUT 10 minutes after the date had finished, for the first time I was able to realize the pointlessness of me doing this to myself again and again. I was finally able to just cut all of the awkwardness at the roots and say you know what? It's just a fucking girl, and although I can't even tell a story, and spend way too much time in isolation, this is a learning curve and a time for me to grow, I accept my shittiness. I suck, and I've never been happier to say it, I understand where I'm at but after tonight I refuse to empower another's thoughts and feelings over my own.

Gotta say, just accepting myself worked wonders and up until tonight I was never able to do it, so I encourage others to just realize how precious your life is and how stupid it is to piss on the time you have over some interaction. Thanks.