What are some tips on maintaining a long term relationship fun and fundamentally strong

Liquorpuki · 2017-06-04T01:03:47+00:00

Some tips and concepts to look up if you're interested. In an LTR, most of the game playing goes away and gets replaced by more authentic, vulnerable communication

That euphoria/rush NRE in love feeling will go away. Both of you have to understand this and realize afterwards, the relationship will change for better or for worse depending on effort and how well you both complement each other. But that whole in love feeling lasts forever expectation is unrealistic. Says neurobiology

The biggest thing that kills an LTR is lack of intimacy. There's a psychology term called a fantasy bond, which is when people get too comfortable and stop putting in effort and substitute actual intimacy with routines. The bond between the couple becomes fake. Instead of you leading her on a date and seducing her like you would if you were actually gaming her, couples end up doing the same dinner, watch TV, predictable stuff every freakin day. Then the relationship gets stagnant and dies

There's another concept called self-expansion, which says couples need to make each other bigger than the sum of their parts. This translates to the need to always be moving toward a new experience. When you seduce a girl, you lead her to making out, then to sex, then what? What type of experience are you gonna lead her toward after that for the next X years? During a casual relationship you only have to worry about the first two, then there's nothing else to move toward so the casual relationship eventually dies. With an LTR, you need to answer that third question if you want it to last

Relationship balance is critical. Polarity-wise, if she's feminine, you need to be masculine. Attachmentwise, both of you need to be secure individuals - if one of you is clingy or avoidant, the LTR could become toxic. In terms of boundaries, one thing that happens in toxic LTR's is the two people end up becoming enmeshed or emotionally fused. They lose their sense of self and personal boundaries and eventually end up resenting each for it. One of the biggest takeaways from game IMO is that to get the girl, you most likely had to figure out who you are as a man and be able to communicate that. Never lose that, especially not in an LTR.

YourFriendlyRedditor · 2017-06-03T17:53:41+00:00

Take the lead not only in the beginning, but always

username_1_1_1 · 2017-06-04T06:37:29+00:00

Don't make the mistake of thinking you can let your feelings show and you can be vulnerable. Go to your male friends if you have problems to sort out, not your gf. To her, you're her rock. You have to show her you can handle everything. I like to keep a few close female friends around that I can whine to when I need to get shit off my chest. Make sure you still take the lead. Plan dates, trips, and outings like you would any other girl. Maintain your personal life outside of your relationship. i.e, hang out with your friends, keep on top of your hobbies, keep bringing new things to the table. Texting is just to set up more times to hang out. Give her the gift of missing you.

bjlmag · 2017-06-03T23:18:08+00:00

what aspects of the game should I keep

Everything except hooking up with other women. Relationships are work, so don't let yourself settle in or become less interesting and fun than the guy she originally started dating, and hopefully she'll do likewise.

Woujo · 2017-06-04T15:14:23+00:00

It's the same as any other game. You just are allowed to emotionally invest more in her now that she has invested in you. But you don't let her take away your friends, hobbies, etc...

Title	What are some tips on maintaining a long term relationship fun and fundamentally strong
Author	killzone20
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	June 3, 2017 3:49 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6f1utf/what_are_some_tips_on_maintaining_a_long_term/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-some-tips-on-maintaining-a-long-term.1425593 https://theredarchive.com/post/1425593

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