What are your experiences with oneitis?

loving_peace · 2016-11-22T14:15:39+00:00

i'm a very do or die, all or nothing kind of guy and there's nothing i can't do if i really put my mind to it. unfortunately this sometimes applies to dating too, being fixated on a girl usually means trying to figure out SOMETHING that must make her want to be with me, like there HAS to be a way of getting her interested!

Fortunately being extra busy with sport and cultivating an abundance really helps keep things in perspective.

RytekBJJ · 2016-11-22T15:32:20+00:00

You have to be emotionally intelligent. Think about why you're feeling that way and if it's rational or not. If you've never gone out with a girl but think you love her, or that's she's special, or different than other women, then you're being irrational.

There's a girl I had a crush on for a couple months even though she said no. I just had to tell myself my strong feelings for her are irrational and I need to do the rational thing and go out with other women. Eventually the feelings just go away and now I don't think I'd even say yes if she asked me out, as my interest in her has fallen below my interest in being an ego driven jerk and saying no just to be spiteful lol.

You can't change your feeling themselves, but you can control your actions and by acting like you don't have oneitis your feelings of oneitis will eventually go away.

SaimonMon · 2016-11-22T20:25:39+00:00

I thought I was over her. I apparently wasn't (not enough at least). My advice is: Even if you think you're over her, don't drop your guard.

And talk to new girls/make(not replace) new friends

FakeSafeWord · 2016-11-23T02:18:19+00:00

Really invasive thoughts about her. As soon as I'd wakeup i'd hope INTENSELY that there'd be a text waiting there for me from her.

Sometimes there was, sometimes there wasn't.

One night I invited her out for a drink. She declined and said she couldn't tonight because of family stuff.

less than an hour later and I see her out on what's clearly a date. Nearly threw up from the anxiety truck that hit me. Blocked her number that night.

Finally got over her and a few months later ran into her. Totally forgetting I blocked her number. She texted me while we we're hanging out and saw that my phone didn't go off and asked if I got a new number. I told her no and we both realized that we both realized that I had blocked her number. She got mad at me for abandoning our friendship.

I told her I never wanted that friendship and had been hung up on her for months.

So overall, my oneitus was pretty average.

Psychocist · 2016-11-22T20:32:53+00:00

what were your signs?

I was constantly thinking about her almost every day for 4 months. I idealised everything about her. I had a relationship with her inside my head before I'd even kissed her. I was infatuated and felt a crushed that I might never be with her. Made all the more painful by the fact she was one of my friends.

how did you realise?

I found seddit and did lots of reflection and was brutally honest with myself.

how did you overcome this?

I read seddit and aligned my mind with certain principles - abundance mentality being number one.

where are you now in comparison?

10 sexual relationships later, my head is completely clear and I am very aware that, even if I couldn't be with her, I could, with enough improvement, easily find an even higher quality girlfriend.

This has also played a part in my latest relationship where I am not nearly as clingy as I used to be because I know I can meet someone else.

pureboy · 2016-11-24T05:16:39+00:00

Oneitis = Virgin. Fuck it to fix it.

Kappa_rino · 2016-11-22T18:19:10+00:00

I had a crush on my bestfriend's girlfriend. I even admitted it to her. She said no( they were still dating ). Yep, that was fucked up from me, I continued to have a crush on her for about..... 8 months? We chatted at least once a week, sometimes a few days in a row, now we are best friends and I have a girlfriend!

Title	What are your experiences with oneitis?
Author	mrazman
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	November 22, 2016 10:05 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5e9ze9/what_are_your_experiences_with_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-your-experiences-with-oneitis.1415927 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415927

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