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[–]phanzov36 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't have much on whether you should follow up with that girl. You have nothing to lose by trying but you should have followed up when she said she doesn't have a bf, especially since she didn't qualify that by shutting you down or saying she's not interested.
On the other stuff, I was a virgin until last year (27) and previously had made out a few times but never even made it past second base. Since my first time, I've made out with numerous girls, had sex with one other, did all but intercourse with another (convention roommates cockblocked lol) and overall feel much more confident.
Besides obvious stuff like grooming yourself, dressing well, etc., you have to find an approach that works for you and just dig in to it. I know guys on here make it seem like one size fits all, but for me authenticity is huge and I felt disingenuous acting like a douche for a few years because I thought my "niceness" was my chastity belt. I started taking dance classes which boosted my confidence a TON and taking more chances with pushing limits in conversation, playful teasing, progressive touching, etc. Put myself out there more, stopped feeling like every rejection was personal and was the end of my shot with women. I haven't put on a mask for any of the women I've hooked up with and I feel really good about that, even if I'm not picking women up at the same frequency as pickup artists. Good luck on your journey, sir!
[–]E_550 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate the reply! I will definitely work on my confidence, as I desperately need to get out of these random funks I go into.
[–]tigermax42 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Take the initiative man. You ever seen a girl decide what they want on a menu?
Just take the next step and say hi or send a funny meme. Have a funny incident in your day to tell her about.
If a girl likes you, she will allow the next step to happen. That’s about all you can expect so it’s up to you to move forward
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for the reply! However my buddy told this girl I liked her, and I think my chances are basically destroyed at this point. :/
[–]UrbanDevice 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I haven’t hit her up on snap yet because I literally don’t know what to say, and I’m honestly kinda bugging out
Do it! Nothing to lose. Just say anything tbh. But ask for a date ASAP
Like all these thoughts of “you’re not good enough” are basically spiraling in my head
Yes you are good enought! Get that into your brain god damn. Otherwise she will take the next fuckboy in some dirty ass club.
Like I have friends who get girls always hitting them up on snap, insta, all that Jazz, and here I am not being hit up at all.
Girls normally dont do that. They are way to scared of social pressure. Some may do that but most of your frinds probably just talk... Guys always have to take the initative.
Like I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me.
Nothing as long as you try to be the best version of yourself and not some weeping b*tch. (sry but true)
The only thing I’ve deduced is It has to be the way I look.
Then go to the gym! Many advantages.
no girls have shown interest in me, or have taken the initiative.
like i said they dont do that and thats completly normal. Its your task!
At this point should I even try with this girl?
Why are you still asking? you know what your Task is. Be a f*cking man!
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Be a f*ucking man” I dig it lol! However my homie messed things up for me by telling the girl I liked her, is it too late for me to get at her at this point?
[–]UrbanDevice 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
nope you are good to go. If you dont get to attached and not clingy you are all right. No shame to let a girl know you like her. Wasn't the best way to let her know so early but no problem at all. I would suggest even though she kind of know that you like her, that you let her second guess it. What i mean by that is, if she asks you if its true, you simply say stuff like "hmm maybe... Try to find it out yourself ;)" So you are not running open doors.
[–]kimbrasplice 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You're psyching yourself out waaaay before step one. Girls are strange creatures I say ask her out to coffee. You'd be surprised
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That’s exactly what I’m doing lol, but I can’t seem to get over it. Like anytime I want to do anything “big” i immediately psyche my self out, thinking the worst. :/
[–]UrbanDevice 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Start small and do babysteps. So you are not running against a wall. Like that you show your brain its nothing to be scared of. But progress more and more. Good reference experiences will help you alot in this situation
Well I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I fucked up even more. So yesterday I texted this girl and just told her that i think I liked her, and was diggin her vibe, and would like to take her on a date. She replies with “definitely possible” and we make small talk and that’s about it. How bad did I fuck up? And what exactly is “definitely possible?”
She seems to be down. Send her a day and time suggestion and ask if thats fine for her. But make it a fix date.
[–]runningwiththebulls 7 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
It's probably your personality. Not getting girls is a symptom of the bigger problem but not the problem itself. I still think you should ask her to do something with you. She may reject you but it doesn't matter. It will be a good reference experience.
Appreciate it my dude, I’ll hit her up today and see what she says lmao. But I think my buddy kinda ruined it for me. :/
[–]tigermax42 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I still think she is game, since she said she has no bf and gave you her number. It’s still a green light to me.
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[–]phanzov36 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tigermax42 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrbanDevice 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]UrbanDevice 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kimbrasplice 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrbanDevice 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]UrbanDevice 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]runningwiththebulls [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]E_550 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tigermax42 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link