Like everyone else here, I have many self-improvement goals. Some are clear: “read a book a week.” Some are vague: “be attractive.” The one thing all my self-improvement goals have in common is that, sooner or later, I abandon them. I rocket off to a great start. I feel unstoppable. I burn out within a week or a month at most.

But I started working out a couple months ago, with a goal of getting stronger and getting a six-pack…and I haven’t stopped. Yesterday, when I read the [Postmasculine article on self-discipline] (http://postmasculine.com/self-discipline), I immediately understood why: I had accidentally turned my goal into a habit.

In a nutshell: to do difficult or unpleasant activities for a future payoff, we must expend will power. Our will power reserves can be increased over time, but are inherently limited. Relying on will power to burst through every barrier on the road to success is an unsustainable method of self-improvement. However, if we consider how to accomplish the goal—what actions we need to perform in order to reach the goal—we can focus on creating a habit out of those actions, and make reaching the goal inevitable. Specifically, at the end of the article Mark advises that one should:

  1. Clearly define the goal.
  2. Monitor your behavior.
  3. Create incentive and accountability.
  4. Get excited!

Which brings me back to working out. I made a routine. I revised it continually to make it more effective, efficient and enjoyable. I tracked my progress. I got stoked about the next day’s workout. Now, working out is just Something I Do. I plan my day knowing that I’m going to work out and some point. It takes no will power whatsoever.

This got me thinking about seduction. There’s a ton of great information on seddit. /u/Jake_STi-RA summed it up in the comments on I am the prize:

I was reading an article and it was talking about "Epiphany addiction." It means reading articles like this and getting amped up thinking we can improve just from reading without actually applying all this knowledge. I'll admit I'm guilty of this. I'm completely enriched by all the knowledge from these self-posts and articles of self-improvement, but I feel I'm not going out enough out of my comfort zone to apply.

There’s too much to tackle all at once. I can’t possibly muster the will power to try everything all the time. But I can focus on one or two areas, and consciously make them into habits. Then, when those positive changes are automatic, I can move on to the next one.

This week, I’m working on expressing my sexuality better through body language, eye contact, touch and vocal tonality. That’s it. I’ve seen a strong improvement in those areas, thanks to the heavy focus. I feel more comfortable touching people, speaking directly and maintaining eye contact. I’m blown away by how well women have been responding! I feel more attractive, which makes me more confident in my actions, which makes me more attractive, which women respond well to, which makes me feel more attractive….

In the same way that going out every night for a week is worth more than two months of going out once a week, focusing strongly on one area will yield much better results and cement them firmly as habits much quicker than trying to do everything at once over a long period of time.

It’s your turn. Pick a goal. What do you want to change? Then make it a habit.