What's your problem? Addressing the route causes of your lack of success with women rather than just the symptoms

jimii · 2012-03-29T11:00:19+00:00

(Long ass post incoming)

Good article. Getting some girl with some canned technique most likely won't make you happy in any real sense. You need to change yourself and become something that makes you happy... then you should naturally get the girls.

The route causes of my failure with women (and in life in general) were/are quite deep:

It started with a general dislike of my personality/my lack in social skills and enthusiasm for social interaction, which caused me to become very bitter and withdrawn from other people as a result. I was anxiety-ridden and depressed. I fell into a downward spiral and became addicted to video games (Video games because first off, they're addictive. And second, it was the easiest option and allowed me to spend days on end with as little social contact as possible). Which caused my already mediocre social skills to suffer even more. I was addicted for years and nearing the end of my addiction, my social skills were in a bad way.

I really, REALLY needed something to come along and break me out of the trance I was in. I really was just some gaming-obsessed zombie. Luckily around 8 months ago, I injured my wrist (repetitive stress injury from playing so much) and couldn't physically play games any more. At the time I was pissed, because games were all I knew and were all I was interested in. But it turned out to be the biggest blessing-in-disguise ever.

I had to do other things with my time like watch TV, watch movies online, surf some non-gaming websites and read (bought a Kindle 4G, one of the best investments I've ever made). I started broadening my horizons and was enjoying my new variety-filled life WAY more as a result. But I was still socially awkward and anxious in a lot of situations. So I started working out, playing guitar again and started reading some pick-up/general social self-help material. Then I began using Reddit and soon after discovered Seddit.

I feel as though I've matured so much in the last few months and my perspective on life has changed a lot, and for the better.

Now it's time for my transition from gaming... to game. It's going to take some hard work but I hope I can become as good at, and as comfortable with, interacting with people in the real as I was with fragging tangos on the virtual battlefield. Then go on to do things that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to do due to my former dislike of myself and lack of passion and enthusiasm for life and people.

HolePunch66 · 2012-03-29T12:46:49+00:00

Text book pua is good and it works. But, if you apply it on top of an awareness of ones true awesomeness it's dangerous.

The key is, how does one become awesome? One does not simply become awesome, you just need to become aware of how awesome you really are.

Look for clues, do chicks check you out, yes. Do chicks always seem to be stopping by your desk to chat, yes. Build on this awareness, it will generate a feedback loop.

Next thing you know, you are truly awesome, because you always were.

puaCurveBall · 2012-03-29T15:03:58+00:00

This is solid information, hits the nail on the head.

UnderstandableEnigma · 2012-03-30T00:14:10+00:00

Great post, it's so very true. So many guys come in here asking about how to do one specific thing, and while that is a very valid thing to do, it is only of use once you do the basics. You have to make yourself attractive to women by being confident, well dressed, etc. Once you've done that then you can progress onto the finer points to get you through the ins and outs of the female brain.

Thanks for posting! :)

Title	What's your problem? Addressing the route causes of your lack of success with women rather than just the symptoms
Author	rmbarnes
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	March 29, 2012 7:38 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/riyfr/whats_your_problem_addressing_the_route_causes_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-your-problem-addressing-the-route-causes-of.1330608 https://theredarchive.com/post/1330608

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