Hey seddit,

I'm getting conflicting advice. A friend of mine says to not make too many moves because else things go "too fast" and she might get uncomfortable. He also says not to make too many moves, but do them after a few meetings/times, as to not scare her off. But when reading seddit I read the advice that you should be bold enough. Better to make a move, to show that you "have balls", then to do nothing.

How can these be combined? The situation is a first meeting where we're going to eat something.

My only thought is following the kino escalation ladder. If it goes too fast you should see it from her reaction. And if you just went to the next "stap" of the ladder, it also isn't that bad, since it's not a move out of nowhere that made her feel uncomfortable. Or use a test to see if she's ready to kiss. Like moving your head closer kinda like you're going to kiss, but then whispher something in her ear. From the reaction you should know enough. I know this is what you guys probably call calibration, but for a newbie this is hard.

Do you have more advice to see when she's ready?