Where to begin? [Wall of text]

justforpractice · 2012-09-17T23:09:59+00:00

I completely relate, but I have been making some progress. Basically, you are having conversations that bore you. Stop doing that.

I think it is important to develop an interest in people, they way you probably have an interest in science, history, and philosophy. People all seem painfully similar at first, but this is because they are hiding behind their impression of normal, just like you and me do. If you can just crack the shell, I think you will find the average person is every bit as interesting as you. Remember all the personality that you don't generally show, and try and figure out what they are hiding.

Of course, if you aren't interested in people, you might find it hard to convince yourself to start being.

Fake it til you make it. You only have to pay minimal attention to pull this off. Ask a question, "What do you do last weekend?" Get response, "chores blah blah blah shopping blah blah blah blah blah bar blah blah blah blah" Pay enough attention to just one thing to ask another question, "oh who did you go to the bar with?" You can pretty much keep this up forever, and as long as you keep asking questions about the person, s/he will never notice that you aren't paying attention.

Go big of go home. Just ask people questions that require interesting responses. When I see my friends, I greet someone with, "Hey, what's up?" I am more likely to say, "Hey, didn't you study geology in college? I was wondering why some beaches have pebbles and others have sand or other stuff?" or "Hey, what is your opinion of Any Warhol?" Doing this is really simple if you really do have an interesting narrative in your head. Just include the other person.

If you really do find that the people you meet have nothing interesting to say, just leave them and go start a new conversation with someone else.

dxdifr · 2012-09-17T20:19:00+00:00

Sometimes you just have to relax and have fun. Some gaming skills will need to be concious while you're learning, but with time and practice it will come naturally. Practice makes perfect. There's nothing wrong with changing for the better. (aka Personal Growth) Happy Hunting.

Hurensohn · 2012-09-17T21:29:49+00:00

I tried to write out a longer response but all I can really say is that I can relate with practically everything you wrote here. I get stuck in my head during conversations (with both sexes, not specifically a pick-up thing) and come across as an asshole a lot more often than I'd like - got me a pretty shitty reputation with girls at home. I'll give some thought to what I've been doing to try and fix this and let you know what I come up with... just wanted ya to know you're not the only person with these problems haha

P.s. for reference I'm 20

2012-09-18T02:05:18+00:00

At the end of the day it sounds like you just have really bad anxiety. Try meditating before you talk to people. Or, you could try and memorize what she is saying. Play games with yourself, and don't get pissed if you mess up.

topcondiment · 2012-09-18T04:44:47+00:00

Wow, great description of my own situation

2012-09-19T00:02:01+00:00

Like the martial arts, the venusial arts ("venusian" is a planetary demonym, like "martian") require internalization in the motor memory system by practice.

I was actually starting to get approached and kino'ed a lot just because of my vibe after six months of practicing almost every weekend. (Before starting, FTR, I felt like every woman thought I was a monster for being me plus heterosexual) Escalation to a lay was still a problem but I was honestly really happy just meeting lots of women and making great impressions on them.

Then a most unfortunate incident at the coolest party in my tourist-party-valley cost me all my social status, and I've been off the local scene since early July.

Anyway, even when I go out of town and go to parties, I see my game has suffered, for I no longer have it internalized in my motor memory. It's just like I had to practice dancing two nights before this wedding last weekend because my cerebellum had forgotten all the moves my cerebrum still knew (realized this at the bachelor party before).

For reference, at the wedding I was as bad at getting myself to approach as I was as an AFC, but almost as good with vibe as I was at my previous peak. As far as dancing, some guests apparently thought I was hired -- so I'm hoping approach will come back as readily with relatively less practice than the first peak required.

In any case, as long as you practice, practice, practice, you'll start getting good at it without thinking about it, and free up your conscious cognitive resources for any number of other ways to enrich your and her experience.

Title	Where to begin? [Wall of text]
Author	MonsieurleLoupe
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	September 17, 2012 8:08 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/101fe0/where_to_begin_wall_of_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-to-begin-wall-of-text.1339502 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339502

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