This past year I've been ghosted over 15 times and I can't help but feel like I might be doing something to cause it because it keeps happening. I've mainly been using tinder and bumble but occasionally meet girls in real life. Appearance wise I'm 24/M in Canada with light brown hair, 6 feet tall, full beard, receding hairline buzzed, and a slender build.

Most dating app convos are 5-15 messages before getting number. I typically don't text them until the day before or the day of the planned date after exchanging numbers and they rarely text me first. In real life it's similar. Some responses but typically ghost when we move into planning meeting up.

Example Convo:

  • On tinder...
  • -> Opener and her response (simple hey, hows it going or something creative based on her profile)
  • -> Talk about school, work, life, etc. (sometimes skip this part of convo)
  • -> Banter/Flirt a little bit
  • -> Segway into proposing to meet up for drinks, coffee, etc. in the next few days & get her number
  • -> Text her that night so we have each others contacts, maybe a few more texts, try to end convo
  • A day or two later...
  • Me: Hey, reference something we talked about. Are you still good meet at ____ tomorrow for ___ o'clock?
  • Her: gives an excuse.. sometimes she'll say maybe later this week or no response
  • Me: Alright no worries
  • Me: either immediately try to reschedule according to her response or wait a day or two and try
  • Her: typically no response

I'm not saying anything overtly sexual or direct that would be off-putting aside from proposing a date. I could imagine they might be just getting bored? I find it hard to build a good connection over text but we typically have decent rapport and they do initially agree to meet? I'd say ~75% of girls who give their numbers to me eventually ghost me. I realize dealing with flakes is a part of online dating, just seems it's happening a lot. Curious to hear input, thanks.

TLDR: Meeting girls, having decent rapport, they agree to date & give number, they ghost day or two before date, happening often over past few years