Hi there,

I'm currently towards the end (I hope) of processing a breakup and I noticed a pattern in my behaviour, that when I start seeing a girl I'll quite quickly want to be in a relationship with her despite a couple weeks before being perfectly content being single (or so I think). And it made me start to wonder why even bother at all with any of this.

If the point is to be happy being by yourself then why even bother with any relationship? And any reason I can think of at the moment feels like it's just to use the person for some sort of experience which just feels very wrong to me. Like I obviously want the love and care of another person, but is that coming from a place of neediness/insecurity or a genetic/hormonal desire to basically breed? And I can get that love and care from my close friends (just not the sexual attention).

Surely there's a better reason that I just haven't thought of due to my current mindset? And this could just me processing this breakup badly or something and not worth worrying about at all. The only sort of satisfying conclusion I can come to so far is that when that right person comes along then I'll know why I want to be with them and share my life with them, but then it seems like I'm searching for that someone I want to spend the rest of my life with but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this and motivations. Thanks.