Hey everybody!

Recently I interviewed a girl I know who is constantly getting approached by guys to see if she could give any good insights on how a dude should be approaching. Thought there was some good stuff here. Hope it helps! (questions from me are in bold)

How long does a guy have before you decide whether you would ever go out with him?

Probably 45 seconds to a minute and a half.

What are you looking for in that 45 seconds to minute and a half?

Whether he’s funny and can make me laugh. Whether he can say something original. Whether he can be observant.

What do you mean “be observant”?

Whether he can notice something about me. Something that he thinks is cool.

Can you give me a couple examples?

For me, my smile is a good one. Or the way I laugh. When he does that, it makes me want to smile or laugh more. Complimenting me on my eyes or clothes doesn’t have the same effect.

What are some basic qualities a guy has to have for you to consider going out with him?

Being passionate is big. Doesn’t matter too much what it’s about, but being passionate about something makes me think that eventually he can be passionate about me. Confidence obviously is huge too.

How can you tell if a guy is confident?

They don’t second guess what they’re saying. They don’t trip up over their words. If they do, they don’t dwell on it or get really flustered.

What about actually asking you out? How should he be doing it?

Definitely be direct. Have a set day and time. Not “we’ll hang out sometime eventually.” There has to be confidence in the way that he’s asking me out too.

So definitely have a specific time. What about a place? Should he be choosing the place too?

I think he can ask. But the best way is to have some idea of what I would like and recommend a place based on that. Or surprise me based on that.

Is it better if he surprises you? Or is it better to let you know beforehand?

Whether girls admit it or not, they all love surprises. Asking me can be okay, but isn’t great it if looks like he’s second guessing himself.

So let’s say a guy gets your number one night. Should he text you something the next day? Does it matter?

If you’re into me and you think something could come out of it, you’re going to text me the next day. It makes me think you want to talk to me. If you wait the three days and play the game everyone is playing, it’s makes me think you’re just into me physically and that’s all.

So if he likes you, he should be texting you the next day?

Yeah. And if I like him, I’m going to want to hear from him the next day.

And if he doesn’t text you for a few days?

It makes me feel like he’s not that into me. Or that he was just picking up a bunch of girls that night. (laughs)

So what about after that? He texts you the next day and seems to like you. What should he do after that to make you excited to go on a date with him?

Getting the small talk out of the way is good. Texting before the first date can help get the awkward small talk out of the way before we actually meet up and are alone together. That way, once the first date happens we can get a little more in-depth and be a little more honest and open with each other.

Are there any boxes you have to check off or qualifications before you’ll actually meet a guy for a first date that you don’t know that well?

I just like a guy to be positive. They have to make me feel like we’ll have a good time and we won’t be bored or miserable on the night out. That’s the most important thing. Things like having a good job or whatever else are important but not so much for a first date. I just want to know we’ll have a good time.

So you’re going to base that off of the texts he sends you after he gets your number?

Yeah, or it can start when he first approaches me. If they seem positive, fun, and confident when I meet them, they’re more likely to get my number and I’m way more likely to actually go on a date with them.

Hope this helps!

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