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[–]Diece 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is pretty easy,
i'd go up and say
"I made a mean xxx dish with this cauliflower here. It was one of those dishes where you don't think it's going to turnout well and it doesn't look too appetising but it is."
If she says something like
"thats cool"
you can say
"yea,don't ask me for my recipe it's secret. I barely know you."
Just make sure you tease her and are playful, the younger she is the more playful and teasing you should do. Don't expect her to hold a conversation right off the bat, shes still sizing you up.
[–]platypus_strnglr 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the advice man! So glad i don't have to feel weird about approaching at random. Hope i see her again so I can go for it
[–]Ho_Kogan 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Do you know her name? If not, introduce yourself.
To me, the number one rule in seduction is; Don't try to make an excuse to talk to her. For example: Don't make up a stupid excuse like you don't know what time it is. Be confident. Even if you are not confident, atleast be more confident than this girl who cannot even make eye contact. When you speak to her, make eye contact and smile.
If you already introduced yourself (formally that is), then just compliment on something she is wearing. If she is wearing a pair of running shoes, go upto her and say, "I really like your shoes, where did you get them?" Or "I really like the Pink/purple/blue/whatever on your shoes, looks good on you."
An other rule that I have is; don't talk about yourself too much. I say this for 2 reasons:
Reason 1: You have to stay somewhat mysterious Reason 2: Every woman that I ever met, almost do not care about you, and if they do, that is because they want to get to know you. 90% of the time, they want to talk about themselves.
Rule 3 for me is this: When speaking to her, you can open the conversation with a question (as mentioned above) and follow through. Rule of thumb is: Ask 2-3 questions about her (Her day, what time she's getting out, what does she plan on doing after she gets out, etc) no more than that. If you do; it will sound like you are interrogating her. Try to follow each of her response with one of your responses and ask open ended questions (which means do not ask her one answer questions. This will allow her to only be able to answer in yes or no)
If this seems like something you can do; then feel free to allow me to elaborate a bit more if you need to.
[–]Diece 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
this is decent beginner advice except for one thing. Do not give information to girls that you can use to judge interest. What I mean by this is,
I approach a girl and start talking to her, most guys would tell them their name. I don't...why?
If she says "I"m X" that's a indicator of interest that you can use to judge how interested she is. It's a small sign but it helps you get a read.
When it comes to asking her questions, it's a good idea but NOT when you first approach. I've experimented both ends here with talking about myself and learning about her. I had a lot more success when I talked a lot about myself in the first approach. The ratio being around 70:30.
The reason for this is.
She wants to know what type of guy you are
Try getting a girl to talk about herself on the first approach, it usually doesn't happen. She is usually a little distant and cold. This is expected.
This is ONLY the dynamic when you first approach, on the first date it shifts to a more 50:50 ratio because now she has some time invested in you. When she first met you she had no investment.
The results from my experiment are a person does want to talk about themselves BUT only to people that they know.
I'd also refrain from compliments right off the bat, it puts it into her head that she is higher value than you. I never open with compliments, a girl has to earn them. I open with something witty or interesting like I said in the first post of this thread.
[–]Ho_Kogan 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I can see your points, but I believe you are blowing my advice out of proportion.
I approach a girl and start talking to her, most guys would tell them their name. I don't...why? If she says "I"m X" that's a indicator of interest that you can use to judge how interested she is. It's a small sign but it helps you get a read.
Not necessarily sure what you mean by this statement. When you first meet someone, you have to introduce yourselves to each other. I can agree that it is fine to go on with the conversation without introducing yourself, but then you just become a stranger. Atleast with a name, you can put a face behind that name when you call her, instead of "I'm that guy from walgreens that came upto you"
When it comes to asking her questions, it's a good idea but NOT when you first approach. I've experimented both ends here with talking about myself and learning about her. I had a lot more success when I talked a lot about myself in the first approach. The ratio being around 70:30. The reason for this is. She wants to know what type of guy you are
I agree that your ratio of 70:30 is in the ballpark, but again, I have to say keep the conversation mainly on her. My reasoning behind this is the opposite of yours, you leave all that information for when she brings it up in the conversation. You can't just go upto her, get her name, and then be like, "Yeah, I'm a doctor. I make 100k a year. I love my dog, I'm a real dog person. Etc etc." In my opinion it makes you look like a douche (no offense) and not necessarily the attractive jerk that we can all agree gets their panties wet.
An other reason to keep the conversation mostly towards her is because you simply just want to stay mysterious but yet still make your intentions clear. By asking what she is all about, you will show her that you are interested in her and not reveal a lot on yourself and make her question herself "Who is that guy?"
Again, if she wants to know what kind of guy you are, as long as you give her open ended questions, she will ask you the same questions if she's actually interested in you. If she is not interested in you, then why would you waste her time and yours by going on a tangent on who and what you are?
I wouldn't discredit your advice by a long shot at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you have done experiments, as have I. Nothing is really set in stone and the best approach would be to follow a hybrid of both. If one approach doesn't work, then half way into the conversation, switch it up and follow a different approach.
Either way, I believe your advice may only be suited towards strangers anyway. Chances are, they already know each other, since they work with each other.
[–]Diece 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Hmm, that's kind of the thing. I wouldn't say I'm a doctor and I make 100k a year. I'd just provide little bits of information that she can either bite on or not.
Being mysterious is great and I love playing the mysterious brooding guy at the bar but when it comes to day game it doesn't seem to do much for me.
Here's what I mean.
Me: "I made a mean xxx dish with this cauliflower here. It was one of those dishes where you don't think it's going to turnout well and it doesn't look too appetizing but it is."
Her: "thats cool"
Me:"yea,don't ask me for my recipe it's secret. I barely know you."
Her: I wasn't planning on it.
Me:Good because it's a secret, if i told you, you'd probably spill it.
Her: haha no that's not true
Me: oh yea? In your defense I don't think a girl can keep a secret, I told this one girl something and next thing everyone knew.
(Here is what I mean by baiting her. The bait here being the second part of the sentence. I'm hoping she asks "what was it?" or anything inquiring to know more about the topic.)
Her: haha I don't know about that.
Me: I've learned my lesson..you look Russian are you Russian?
Her: no haha I'm Polish
Me: Well they're pretty similar, I was actually considering to travel to Poland. Get away from you.
(Another bait, I want her to ask me about my travel trip to Poland.)
Her: it's cool
Me: Yea, the people remind me of the ones in Moscow
(Another bait, I want her to ask about Moscow.)
Her: They do?
(she takes the bait a little.)
Me: Yea they do, the language is similar and so are the mannerism. Both friendly though, unlike Quebec City.
(More bait, she has two things she can ask about)
Her: OHHH Quebec City I've been there and I know what you mean. People are assholes if you don't speak french.
Me: Yep I went there for a party and the club pretty much shunned us. The only words I knew were "voulez vous coucher avec moi" I guess French people have no humor. Quebec city is an odd place to be, why were u there?
(lots of bait here, theres a lot of things she could inquire about.)
Her: Oh I was there to see a friend.
Me: And you had a bad experience?
Her: yea we did, she speaks french but I do not.
Me: I've heard Montreal is like QC but more English friendly. I'm going there for Osheaga
(More bait with Osheaga)
Her: Osheaga? I was there last summer for it. I really like Montreal.
As you can see you sort of bait out her response, usually it takes about 10 or 20 baits to get a girl to hook. Then it's easy. This is what I mean by 70:30, I never talked about my experiences I let her ask me about them. She now a little bit of an investment in me and can come to conclusions as to who I am. I still don't really know much about her. Also look how smooth the conversation is, I purposely tried to make it hard and have the girl give me little to work with.
Also when it comes to seduction the most fun I have is when I take a girl who is a 1 on the interest scale and turn her to a 8. Having a girl that is already at an 8 is no fun for me, it doesn't test my skills. Regardless I won't give up a good lay just because there was no challenge.
Edit: I didn't mean to insult you by saying "this is decent beginners advice"
[–]Ho_Kogan 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Boom, yeah, that's a great approach. Wasn't exactly sure what you meant. I literately thought you meant to spill your whole life about yourself.
I've tried this approach before and failed only simply because I have an ADD problem... I can't really follow through with conversations like that, which is why I like to stick to my approach to keep the conversation on their end instead of heavily relying on my witty responses. Hell, by the end of the conversation I have already forgotten their name haha
But yeah, I agree, I enjoy playing the seduction game of creating interest from a 1. It is just a great confidence boost and exercise to do.
At the end of the day; I wouldn't be surprised if both approaches work. Really depends if you are witty and can come up with responses on the dime, or... not.
[–]Diece 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
different strokes for different folks, what would your moc conversation look like with a girl?
Edit: lets say your girl has about the same interest level as the one I depicted.
[–]Ho_Kogan 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure, I'll write up one. (Assuming OP's situation and never introduced himself)
Me: Hi, how are you doing? I see you all the time but don't know your name Her: I'm good, my name is Sally Me: Okay awesome, now I know! (smile) I just wanted to say I really like your shoes, where did you get them from? Her: Ohh, it's just something I bought for work at walmart, 20 bucks. Me: Haha, really? They look comfortable for 20 bucks. Her: Yeah, they are actually.
Me: Hi, how are you doing? I see you all the time but don't know your name
Her: I'm good, my name is Sally
Me: Okay awesome, now I know! (smile) I just wanted to say I really like your shoes, where did you get them from?
Her: Ohh, it's just something I bought for work at walmart, 20 bucks.
Me: Haha, really? They look comfortable for 20 bucks.
Her: Yeah, they are actually.
(At this point, in real time, I choked up and couldn't think of anything to say for a good 10 seconds until I thought of something simple)
Me: Yeah that's cool, what time do you get out tonight? Her: 9 o'clock Me: Ohh okay, well then you'll be getting out sooner than me. (Assuming everything you said was with confidence) Me: Alright, well nice chatting with you, hope I made your day. I'll talk to you later. Her: Yeah, you kind of did, I'll see you around. Me: As a matter of fact, put in your phone number on my phone.
Me: Yeah that's cool, what time do you get out tonight?
Her: 9 o'clock
Me: Ohh okay, well then you'll be getting out sooner than me. (Assuming everything you said was with confidence)
Me: Alright, well nice chatting with you, hope I made your day. I'll talk to you later.
Her: Yeah, you kind of did, I'll see you around.
Me: As a matter of fact, put in your phone number on my phone.
This is just me personally, again, nothing set in stone so others will obviously come up with much smoother responses than I could ever do. However, that being said, I do make my intentions known to her. If you are a person that has almost nothing to say, then you make up for it by letting your presence known. Leave yourself wide open, like you do not feel vulnerable. Speak with confidence. And make it obvious what your intentions are without actually telling her what they are.
A girl with a level of 1 interest will obviously take time, no matter what approach. A couple of hellos here, more compliments there. Being interested in her will eventually have her on your doorsteps.
[–]ckp2906 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just commenting to give a thumbs up! Just checked a few threads, and just noticed that every good answer i was looking at was you :P Hope you will be as active in the future here _^
[–]Ho_Kogan 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey, I'm glad you are acknowledging me. This has been my first time on Seddit and I plan on posting long thought out responses whenever I can.
[–]platypus_strnglr 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You deserve a medal! Thank you so much for the reply, it's very helpful. People like you are the reason I love seddit. So the problem is I would only be able to get away from working for a short time or my supervisor gets pissy. Should i just kinda dive in and ask for her number? Is there any way to do that without seeming like pushy?
[–]Ho_Kogan 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Edit: Damn, wrong thread, helping out a few guys at the same time. Will reedit to your situation accordingly, give me a few minutes!
Okay, back to your situation. You should not ever go directly to the phone number, always do that at the end of your conversation, I would say, only because if she declines, you can walk away, because hey, it's the end of the conversation. If you ask for it in the middle of the conversation, it just kills your momentum. If you ask for it in the beginning, you just seem nervous and or desperate.
Having a simple conversation with her should not take long at all, 2-3 minutes tops. Especially if it is slow and or you guys are obviously free. Maybe you just came inside from pushing the carts in? That is a good opportunity to talk to her while you are taking off your safety vest and putting it away.
Maybe you are working near her? This would be the easiest situation and you can just start the conversation with her then.
Maybe there are only 5 minutes left and are putting away go backs, this is always the perfect opportunity.
Nevertheless, there is always time to go to talk to her, as long as you have a gameplan and somewhere to go before and after you talk to her. If the supervisor gets pissy, just acknowledge that you heard your supervisor and excuse yourself and tell her that you will talk to her later. Atleast if you get interrupted, you have opened the door.
Either way; trust me, she will be happy that you spoke to her, you just made her day a lot more interesting.
There is a fair warning though; Don't completely go all-in by making it painfully obvious that you like her. The reason for this is because the simple rule of : You don't shit where you eat. If you somehow fuck this up; it will always and forever be awkward. You won't necessarily feel awkward, but for sure she will. So if you just hold back a little bit by keeping your intentions well hidden, then everything should be good.
[–]secondpua 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If your near any easy cook meal/frozen meals an easy one is grabbing one and saying in a non-serious, joking way "this is why i need a girlfriend". If she responds continue the conversation.
[–]raxical 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you're putting too much stock into this one girl. Just go do it, 3 second rule. Maybe use what the other commentors have said, but if you're at the point where you don't know how to go about it, you should expect failure. And that's fine because you'll get better with knowledge and experience.
Go ask a girl or two out a week. Make it a goal. When you have this mindset, then that one girl at that one store is no longer that big of a deal.
[–]TheBadGod 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
She's not shy. She's not interested.
Zero eye contact and she walks away quickly?
No signs of interest.
[–]Ho_Kogan 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That shouldn't throw anyone off though. Unless OP already approached her already once and fucked it up.
[–]platypus_strnglr 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Definitely haven't approached yet. I dont think she's uninterested, its just a stares at the ground when she walks thing
Boom, there you go, you should be fine. And even if you already did approach her, doesn't hurt to try again.
[–]TheBadGod -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP should tighten his appearance and work on his charm.
[–]rangamatchstick 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Risky at work, try to do a more passive form of pickup if anything.
I agree, I warned OP of the repercussions. Mentioned that he really shouldn't shit where he eats.
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