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This was first chat with the topic of timebridging. I've added some headings to mark when things went a bit off topic, and tried to change up the order to make the most sense (sometimes they overlapped).

  • curveball: Timebridging, is taking the time between your first meeting and your day2, and bridging the gap. This is to reduce flaking, improve attraction and make your life a lot easier
  • curveball: Most guys, when going for the # close, simply say "hey put your # in my phone"
  • curveball: Or "we should hang out sometime"
  • curveball: I cringe when I hear guys that are like "Oh I # close by telling her I can lend her a book" or even "I tell her I go to a lot of parties" or basically anything that is not explicitly a date
  • curveball: Step 1: You don't take her number until thats done
  • curveball: Step 2: You explain the date and get her to buy into the idea
  • Morianti: so building a timebridge reduces flaking after getting the #?
  • curveball: It basically eliminates it Morianti
  • curveball: Ok, so sell the idea, describe it

  • curveball: Tell her about an amazing coffee place, and mentally talk about how you are going to go there together, tell her how good that shit smells, whatever you want to describe it

  • curveball: So you propose the date, you describe the date, you ask her "doesn't that sound fun" and you get her to show enthusiasm

  • scorz: For time bridging though, everyone should try and have a first date spot in mind. There's nothing wrong with reusing the same spot.

  • curveball: if she isn't enthusiastic, you can just call the whole thing off "well if you aren't going to be excited, we can just not do anything"

  • Dorman: Scorz is entirely correct. I always take girls to the same location for a 1st date, and they all love that spot. A good spot is a good spot, period

  • scorz: When you really know the spot well, it's even easier to describe it when time bridging to reduce flakiness even more.

Her Flaking

  • tsnorthern: Let's say theoretically, after this first date is planned, something comes up and she has to cancel. How do you recover from this?
  • scorz: tsnorthern: If she flakes a second time move on
  • curveball: tsnorthern: That is not a problem at all, if she is down, she is down
  • tsnorthern: I guess that's the answer i expected. I guess if that inital attraction was strong enough than extenuating circumstances are irrelevant.
  • curveball: If you can't set a time / location when setting up the date, time bridge the phone call too
  • curveball: Find out when she is at work / when she can take calls
  • curveball: You can tell her "You better pick up in the first 2 rings, and i better hear "OH I am so happy to hear from you curveball" (get her to act this out even, if you want to be silly)
  • tsnorthern: that's a good line curveball. i'll have to remember that
  • curveball: On the phone, get her schedule first. "So whats your schedule look like?" then propose dates on days you are both free
  • curveball: It helps to say what days you are busy as well "Ive got a thing tues and thurs, whats your schedule?"
  • Morianti: But doesnt that sound insecure,you better pick up the phone, or is it all about the delivery ?
  • curveball: Morianti: You are slightly joking and making fun of her (well girls) in general that they can be flaky
  • scorz: Morianti: nothing insecure about it, delivery is always important. You're basically telling her she better be excited or you aren't going to taker her out.
  • scorz: Morianti: It comes down to the whole why waste your time with someone who isn't excited to hang out with you?
  • curveball: scorz: Exactly. TImebridging is also about filtering out the # that won't go anywhere, while also INCREASING your attraction with girls that are on the fence. A guy who has standards and doesn't want to waste his time is attractive

  • Morianti: scorz thanx, I'm just getting my head around the idea that i can say anything as long I can maintain a confident, funny attitude

  • Doho: so do you have any time bridging from 2nd to 3rd date?

  • curveball: If things are iffy, then yes

Mystery

  • tsnorthern: Time bridging certainly has its uses. The only possible drawback is that being this direct destroys the possibility of maintaining any level of mystery.
  • curveball: fuck mystery, imho
  • curveball: especially as a beginner
  • curveball: getting her number without her knowing its a date is just unclear
  • scorz: Hm… why can't you be mysterious and set up a date?
  • curveball: Because generally speaking, mysterious just means you are unclear
  • scorz: I always thought of mysterious as not revealing details about yourself.
  • tsnorthern: yeah i get what you're saying and i agree. I just think sometimes being aloof can be beneficial
  • saagarp|work: it seems like there's probably a fine line between seeming uninterested and actually being mysterious
  • curveball: Until you are having regular success and numbers turn into dates, drop the mysterious thing, you are just fooling yourself
  • tsnorthern: agreed. It isn't a beginner's idea.
  • Dorman: I'm going to interrupt you here, Curveball - I understand that not being direct and honest about your intentions can sometimes harm your progress. However, with sufficient attraction created beforehand (be it through kino, Agree & Amplify, whatever), these can actually work in your favor
  • Dorman: this only works when you've created enough attraction, that she know what's going on, but it's just not explicitly stated.
  • curveball: Dorman: that is advanced imho, I'm talking about guys that frequently get flakes because they just take the #, and think it is worth something
  • Dorman: Alright, fair enough. :) ***

Secret Trust

  • curveball: Unrelated, but I love to find out the worst flake she has ever done, and then use that to tease her
  • Morianti: That would also be a comfort building thing to do, asking about the flakes, wouldn't it be ?
  • curveball: yeah Morianti, getting secrets builds trust
  • trik: do you need to give some secrets to build it with her too or just having asked is enough
  • curveball: Trik, that specific thing is about getting information from her, not building trust… so you only have to get it. In general, telling secrets is good for comfort, if you are working on comfort ***

Lesbians?

  • trik: what's your stance on lesbians that flirt with you hard?
  • trik: like if they didn't tell you they liked girls you would think the girl is totally into you?
  • saagarp|work: they might... not be lesbians?
  • tsnorthern: Or looking for an ego boost
  • curveball: All I care about is "If I escalate, do they reject me or go with it"
  • trik: if I had the kino skills of this girl I'd be made i swear
  • curveball: The only question we ever have to ask is whether things are working or you're getting rejected
  • trik: if they reject once tho, you keep going tho right? It's more like a try again later deal ***